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Many people see the terms “dating someone” and “seeing someone” as very similar terms. It is hard to clarify the level of commitment you have with someone. In this article, we have the answer to the differences of commitment of each term as well as a full guide on what you can expect from dating and seeing someone.
So, what exactly is the difference between seeing someone and dating someone?
Seeing someone can turn into a more serious phase named dating. Dating someone has more purpose, when you are dating you are flirting, because you are trying to seduce a girl. “Seeing someone” can happen at any time very casually. But when you are dating someone you think of where to meet, what to wear, and how to win their affection.
Hold on don’t go anywhere yet! The above is just the short answer, read down below to know everything about the 5 differences between “dating” and “seeing someone” as well as “how long after seeing someone can it be considered a relationship?”
1) The Stage Till a Committed Relationship
There are many different meanings that people give to their stage of the relationship with someone. For example, some couples say that they are in a relationship, but they go and explore other sexual partners. When asked why? They say it’s an ‘open relationship’.
Other examples include people that say they are “seeing each other”, but they are very sexually active together.
Dating is generally seen as more serious. Because dating has more purpose behind it. Asking a crush on a date is like going out on a serious trial to see how you click with each other. You dress to impress and talk to seduce. Dating is the practice that people take as their step towards a romantic relationship.
As for the term “seeing each other”, it is more towards the friendly category, seeing someone is the stage behind the more serious phase, defined as dating. The relationship at this point is way too casual, it can be seen as dating someone, without any serious intentions.
To understand these two terms better, we have to look at what stage till being in a committed relationship they are in. There are 5 stages to a committed relationship, let’s take a look at them.
- The first impression
- Attraction stage
- Reality phase
- Intimacy phase
- Commitment
“Seeing Someone” falls into the first impression phase of the relationship, where there are some memorable conversations that take place, and you are left wondering if you might like them.
“Dating Someone” falls into the stages 2,3 and 4. These stages build up progressivly; it first starts with dates to more dates, to physical intimacy and questioning whether you would like to make this exlusive, and go into a commited relationship with them.
2) The Frequency Of Meeting Together
The obvious answer is that you would be seeing that person more when you are dating rather than just “seeing them”. Here we are going to be looking at the benchmark time, where you should transition from “just seeing each other” to “dating”, and how many times you should be meeting together if you are dating.
Seeing someone is very casual and mutual, there are no intentions. Seeing someone for too long can be very dangerous if you are looking to have something serious with the other person, as it digs a deeper hole for you in the friendzone.
You might like her and she might like you, but if neither is showing any intentions or signs of interest then one or both parties would eventually see this as a friendship-only thing.
Seeing someone for too long can be a serious killer for your chances at anything with the girl or guy. That’s why there are different time frames in different circumstances, on when you should ask the girl on a date and progress things to a more serious manner.
How Long After Hanging Out and Seeing Someone Should You Go On a Date?
| Situations | Time spent together | Description. |
|---|---|---|
| A Co-worker that you are seeing | Wait 2 weeks before asking them on a date | Discussions and getting to realize a connection in the workplace could be much harder, because of the professional setting. At least a time frame of 2 weeks is needed to develop some attraction and interest. |
| A Classmate that you are seeing | Wait 1 week before asking them on a date | School and colleges allow for 2 people to develop a faster sense of trust and attraction, as the environment is more relaxed and friendly. Don’t wait more than a week before asking them on a date. There is some fierce competition in schools and colleges. |
| Someone you are seeing in the Gym | Wait 2 weeks before asking them on a date | You don’t want to come off as a playboy, talk and get to know your gym crush, then around the second week, it would be suitable to ask her out on a date. |
| Seeing them with a mutual friend. | 4-5 times before asking them on a date | This solely depends on the activities involved when hanging out with friends. When it’s something very interactive, you can definitely shoot your shot and ask her or him out on a date. |
When we are “seeing someone” it is very innocent, you can see them a couple of times a week. But when the attraction sets in, and you recognize that the time to ask them out on a date has come, you should try to limit dates and see each other less. Cause remember we are going for quality time, not quantity.
When dating someone, you want to make sure you don’t stay in the camp of dating each other too much, because it may make you fall into a ‘love bubble’ which is when you get an unrealistic sense of someone.
Limit the dates to once or twice a week at the beginning of the dating stage
Why should you see someone less, when you are dating?
- The less time you spend with someone in the beginning of the dating phase, causes them to want to see you more, and as a result the attraction becomes stronger
- You are able to see things for what they are minus the crazy hormones which cause you to get an unrealistic sense of someone.
- You are able to see who they really are: By getting to know a person slowly you decide if they are for you.
- Quality over Quanitity: By not seeing eachother everyday and then seeing eachother will be have more value and quality
- Doesn’t cause relationship burnout: It’s like eating the same food everday, eventually it’ll lose it’s novelty.
“Seeing eachother less is better in the beginning of the dating phase, the sexual attraction and emotions are high, which can cause serious infatutations towards them”.
3) Differences In Subject Of Discussion
Discussion topics can be great indicators of whether there is interest and attraction in the relationship. You can tell a lot by a person’s interest and care towards you by the topics they open up with you.
When you are just “seeing someone” topics of discussion can never be serious, all the talks and gossips are very casual topics without any intention to seduce them.
When you are dating topics of discussion are much more serious, a lot of flirting takes place at this stage because you would be trying to seduce and get them more physically intimate, as well as talks on finances, marriage, and work because you would want to understand their values and your compatibility with them.
“You tend to discuss more serious stuff during dating which will give a concrete look about your future together. Seeing someone, consists of just casual talk and nothing serious about anything”
Something more serious? Or in the friend zone? Find out here Why a Girl Invites You To Hang Out With Her Friends?
4) Intimacy Level
Obviously, when you are dating someone there is definitely going to be more intimacy, but there are different stages of intimacy going from just seeing someone and dating.
To look at the different stages of intimacy we first have to look at the 5 stages of a relationship:
- The first impression
- Attraction stage
- Reality phase
- Intimacy phase
- Commitment
What is the level of intimacy when you are “seeing someone?”
When you are “seeing someone”, it falls into the first stage of leading towards a relationship. This first stage is defined as, the first impression
This person may be an acquaintance, colleague, or classmate you bump into and have a memorable conversation that is engaging, and passes the simple and usual ‘hello’ and ‘bye’ conversation.
After a couple of engaging conversations with this person, you are left wondering if they feel the same about you and whether it will lead to anything more serious? You entertain the possibility of romance.
In this stage it is all about the right timing, it’s time to approach them and invite them on a date.
There isn’t any initimacy invloved in the “seeing someone” stage. At this stage it is all about getting to know the person and wondering if there is a romantic possibility.
What is the level of intimacy when you are Dating someone?
When dating someone, it becomes much broader in the stages of dating. Dating involves more intimacy because it can cover 3 stages of a relationship. In comparison “just seeing someone” is the first part of the relationship stage.
1. The Attraction or romance phase:
You are seeing each other more and getting to know each other better, you both are planning dates and things are going well. You might even be falling for each other at this stage.
But it’s not the same to fall in love with them at this level for everyone. Some people fall in love later than sooner in this dating stage, but don’t be worried it’s normal, as long as you enjoy meeting and talking to each other.
2. Reality stage:
This stage is when you’ve reached a certain level of comfort with each other and developed a deeper emotional attachment. You even show small gestures of physical intimacy such as holding hands and maybe a little kissing.
This stage can be a really good indicator for you to gather a sense of whether you want to stay in this relationship or not. This stage helps you see if you match with the person you’re dating, in the fields of values, interests, and emotional chemistry.
3. Intimacy stage:
Once you navigate out of 2nd stage of dating, you will find yourself a greater sense of love and closeness with the other person. You are much more physical and emotionally dependent on the other person.
Although there isn’t yet exclusivity or commitment mentioned. This stage of dating could be a perfect opportunity to check in with yourself and what you want out of a relationship such as boundaries and expectations in a relationship.
How Long After Seeing Someone are You In a Realtionship
People have different opinions on when it would be the right time to go from dating to a relationship. As I said ‘their opinions’. There is no right or wrong answer to this, it solely depends on your view on how things are going with the person you are dating.
Saying the three magic words of “I love you” can be tricky. Because having the conversation too soon could signal an awkward end to an otherwise good thing. Having the conversation too late will either stagnate the relationship too much or might end you up in the friendzone.
Getting Into a Relationship In a Month Or Less After Dating
Men are mostly the victims of rushing into saying the 3 words of “I love you” within dating each other for less than a month.
There is no problem going from dating to a relationship within less than a month, but relationships that start with such a short amount of time are victims of falling apart faster.
Developing a crazy attraction of love for that person in such a short amount of time can be called ‘infatuation’, which is defined as a feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love and interest in someone. Having an infatuation can make you gather an unrealistic sense of someone.
Find out here what people voted as the best time to get into a relationship.
Getting Into a Relationship Within 2–3
I believe 2-3 months of dating is the sweet spot for confessing your love to your date. Although it’s very important on the conversations you are having with your date, you want to make sure you’re not moving too slow.
Make the 2-3 months your aim for making up your decision on ending up in a committed relationship with your date or not. Beyond that could be a waste of time and a greater possibility that your date could put you in the friendzone, as they could possibly meet someone more assertive and handsome.
Why You Must Confess Your Love To The Person You are Dating?
Many go on dating, assuming they are in a relationship already. But don’t make the mistake of believing that you are in a relationship, without talking about it with the person you are dating.
Many people assumed they were in a committed relationship for months and even years, only to find out their partner was seeing and hooking up with other people.
This is beacuse not everyones goal is exclusivity and commiting to a realtionship. Many people look for “casual dating”, so make sure you start with the question of “are you open to the possibility of a reltionship”?
Conclusion
Labeling where you stand with someone can be challenging. But it has to do with your perception of the situation.
It is important to watch out for conversational and physical cues that will give you the hint of the comfort and trust level the other person has towards you.
Being able to develop comfort, trust, and chemistry with someone can be a good indicator that you can hit the home run and end up in a relationship with them.
Let’s take a look at this summarised table of contents on the differences between seeing someone and dating, someone.
| Differences | Dating Someone | Seeing Someone |
|---|---|---|
| 1) The stage till a committed relationship? | It can first starts with dates to more dates, to physical intimacy, and questioning whether you would like to make this exclusive, and go into a committed relationship with them. | There are some memorable conversations that take place, and you are left wondering if you might like them. |
| 2) The Frequency of meeting each other | When dating someone you may see them less, compared to just being friends, but there is more quality and attraction being developed when you meet each other. | The beginning stage is very innocent and mutual you might see them more than 3 times a week. |
| 3) Differences in the subject of discussion | Discussions include flirting being physically intimate, as well as talks on finances, marriage, and work. | When “seeing someone” topics of discussion can never be serious, all the talks and gossips are very casual. |
| 4) Intimacy level. | You can go from holding hands to having sexual intercourse. | No intimacy is involved. It is all about getting to know the person and wondering if there is a romantic possibility. |
Hey guys! my name is Farid Babajan and I’m the co-founder of relationshipwhatsup.com. Around 5 years ago I came out of a relationship which I wasn’t too happy about. Afterward, I decided to start kicking ass in life and in relationships. Getting to understand people around me better as well as myself. This has allowed me to share with you all my knowledge on Love, Romance as well as complications and problems in relationships.
