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The age-old question is that, can two opposite sexes just be friends? What if it turns into an emotional affair? And could it turn out to be a full-blown sexual relationship? In this read, we will be going over 7 signs that you’re entering into an emotional affair, and if it is considered cheating or not?
So let’s dive right into the question. Is emotional love cheating?
Emotional love is not considered cheating on the surface. As it only consists of two people having an emotional bond and a great understanding. But however, over time as the two different sexes get closer, the possibility of a sexual attraction can arise.
There will always be an element of attraction between men and women. So the desire for a sexual relationship between a man and woman is always very possible. I recommend you to continue reading as we’ve got much to cover on the connections between emotional love, emotional affair, and cheating.
Difference Between Emotional Love And Emotional Affair.
Emotional Love is a connection of intense affection for another person’s personality. Emotional Love is the foundation of any genuine relationship.
This is where an individual develops a real and desirable affection for the other person and eventually considers a future with the other person.
Any kind of love is done together, the two people have to make decisions together and what is better for each other’s happiness
An affair on the other hand can be more selfish and dangerous. Affairs are more individual, the person thinks about how the other person makes them feel.
Affairs lead to cheating. This is when a person cheats on their love for something that is a short-term gratification and artificial.
An Emotionail affair is a passionate attatchment between 2 people, it is addictive and more selfish which could lead to a sexual affair. An Emotional Love is more innocent and simple on the other hand.
|What Does Emotional Love Look Like?||What Does Emotional Affair Love Look Like?|
|1) Spending time with each other|
1) Complaining about your partner to your ‘friend’ (Telling them the relationship is shaky)
|2) Sharing details of their day to day lives together||2) Sharing everything with them.|
|3) Strong love and gratitude (Scale between brotherly love and relationship love)||3) Always flirting with each other. Either through text or in-person|
|4) Meaningful, secure, trusting, emotional compatibility||4) A passionate and addictive attachment between two people.|
|5) You make each other laugh and share a similar sense of humor and outlook on life||5) Can lead to cheating|
|6) Strong attraction and personal attachment.|
Developing a strong emotional and intellectual bond with your friend might be so relieving and exciting but sharing that emotional love with someone else rather than with your partner would slowly disconnect and distance you from them. An emotional connection with someone other than your spouse could have heavy consequences in your current relationship.
Consequences Of An Emotional Love and Emotional Affair
- Can cause their romantic partner to feel worthless and cause low self-esteem in them
- Can cause anger and jealousy in their romantic partner
- The health of the relationship drops as communication declines
- Fights start to happen in the relationship
When Does Friendship Turn To Emotional Cheating?
When the partner lies or withholds information about their friend, then it turns into cheating. Lying about how much time they are spending with each other or hiding and deleting their chats with their friend.
Partners hide things from each other because they are afraid of the consequences rather than thinking if they actually are doing something wrong. Partners will make excuses for showing and telling their partners about such details because they feel like their partner is going to complicate it and get jealous.
If for any instance you think you’re doing something wrong. And you hide it from your partner. Then your actions are wrong.
To find out if the thing your doing is wrong or considered cheating, always try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and ask yourself this: “If I saw my partner do these things would I get upset or angry?”
The 7 Signs Of Emotional Affair
When people get into a platonic friendship there is no planning or expecting for things to get serious and to lead to an affair. Unlike a physical affair, most emotional affairs don’t start on purpose.
An emotional affair happens because two people are just looking for understanding, and simply just a shoulder to cry on.
Continue on reading as I will mention 7 signs that your Emotional Love is turning into an Emotional Affair.
1) Closer To Your New Friend Than Your Partner
Emotional intimacy is perhaps the most important thing in a relationship. If you can’t express your feelings to your spouse then what are you doing married to them? Having an emotional companion is crucial for the longevity of a relationship.
2) Your friendship is kept a secret from your partner
It’s at this point where the lying starts to form. And the hiding and lying are just going to get worse and worse. You feel like there’s nothing wrong, but if there’s nothing going on, then why don’t you tell your partner?
Let me tell you why. It’s because you sense and feel there’s something happening between you and your friend. And that if your boyfriend or husband saw what was happening he would get angry.
3) You begin to think of your friend all the time.
You begin to think about your friend constantly, you’re already planning on when the next time is going to be until you see them.
You begin to think about spending time with him, and creating scenarios with him in the future, and really thinking about what kind of couple you two could turn out to be.
4) You really care how you look in front of your friend
At this stage, you really want to grab their attention non verbally by showing them your physical attraction.
And there is literally not a sexier and better sales pitch to romance. Being able to attract and impress someone without words is truly an art.
5) Sexual fantasizing
This is where things are heating up. Your friend is now being compared to your partner.
You are trying to imagine how good it would be when having sex with him or her. In this part, your connection with your partner is completely starting to diminish. And you start to think of your friend while having sex with your partner.
6) You try to be alone with your friend
Spending time alone is a perfect way of getting to know someone better. And a perfect opportunity to see if there is a romantic and sexual spark.
7) You break personal boundaries to talk to your friend
You discard your boundaries and daily routines so you will be able to make time to talk to your friend. Such as finding ways to stay awake. Or even interrupting your date with your partner so you can talk to your friend.
If you feel guilty or don’t know what to do if you cheated on your boyfriend I recommend you read this article
Why Do People Get Into Emotionail Relationships?
When it comes to emotional relationships there are two reasons why people get into such friendships? Continue on reading to find out what they are.
The Key To Attraction And Making Friends:
It can feel scary and worrying when we think of our partner becoming friends with the opposite sex. We constantly trouble ourselves with the thought of. “What if our partner starts to develop an attraction towards the other person”?
You have to understand that the assumption, that our partners shouldn’t be attracted to someone else is a childish opinion to have.
Communicating and interacting with other people outside the relationship should be normal. Socializing is the basis of human development and growth.
Attraction doesn’t mean you want to have sex. Attraction is a quality that causes an interest, desire, or gravitation to something or someone. One of the main reasons why we want to keep interacting and to continue on hanging out with someone is due to their attraction.
Attraction traits that pull us towards someone are:
- Physical and Appearance (Doesn’t have to be sexual)
- Brain and Intelligence
- How they handle themselves
The Key Of Expression and Understanding In Making Friends :
As discussed above attraction is a key element towards forming a friendship. Having an understanding of your friend’s feelings and emotions plus being able to express yourself freely to your friend is the next big winner.
If you are not being met with emotional support such as expression and understanding with your partner, then finding a friend which connects with you mentally and emotionally can be a clear sign of how close you are going to get with that friend.
Is It Possible To Be Friends With The Opposite Gender
From a biological standpoint, I do not believe that men and women can be friends. Why? Below I will discuss why men and women can’t just be friends, from a biological standpoint.
Men are not meant for friends: A Lot of ladies don’t know the way men think. Ladies believe they know their guy friends fairly well. But when it comes to guys being friends with girls, 99.99% of men come with alternative and sexual intentions towards their female ‘friend’.
It is biologically rooted in our bodies, our bodies are meant for procreating and reproducing. Bottom line is that eventually, someone will catch feelings.
If you’re a man and you’re around your Female Friend for too long you’re going to notice things about them that you wouldn’t have otherwise would have. Such as:
- How good her skin is looking
- Waist to hip ratio
- Their breasts (Natural sexual selection perfect for reproduction)
Check out this Journal written by Sage Journal. Which discusses the male perception of female attractiveness
If you’re a woman around your Male Friends for too long your going to notice things about them such as:
- His caring personality
- Has good Financial Security
- His Good looks
These are some of the top reasons that women consider before mating with a man. Check out this page to find out more information on the traits women consider most when wanting to mate with a man.
Loyalty and Choice In Having a Partner
As humans, we are rooted to reproduce and be extremely sexual. Interesting research I came across recently showed that: men think about sex 19 times a day and comparing it with other thoughts, on the average mind, men counted thinking about food 18 times and sleeping 11 times per day.
Compared to women who think about sex 10 times a day, food 15 times, and sleep 8.5 times a day.
This should give you the jitters when thinking about your partner. But don’t be worried. Although both men and women are very sexual, we have one thing which no other mammal in this world has. What is that? It’s a Choice.
Opposite sexes are able to be friends because although we have sexual and physical needs, we are able to apply self-control and stay loyal
Staying Loyal means being faithful and avoiding sexual temptation other than your partner. Being faithful means keeping your word, following through on your plans, and sticking with your partner until the end.
It is an uncomfortable situation to be put in. Just thinking of your spouse interacting with another person can be pretty nerve-wracking
As a guy, I sometimes become uncomfortable with the idea of my girlfriend ever developing a platonic and emotional chemistry friendship with a guy. And there are two worries in this situation.
- Firstly I know how all guys think, I’m a guy myself and have many guy friends. and it unsettles me to think that any guy she passes or interacts with is planning on getting her into their room.
- Secondly, because she is with me it doesn’t mean she can’t build attraction with someone else. It’s human nature and it’s normal for that to happen.
Although at times I can see in her eyes that she finds some of my guy friends attractive she still turns her head away from them because she knows how much she loves me. And that she can control her sexual and physical attraction towards someone else.
The One Main Reason Where I Would Get Worried.
Emotional connection is very important in a relationship, it needs to go hand in hand with sexual needs or even maybe more.
As a boyfriend she tells me everything, I’m there when she needs to cry on my shoulders and tell me all about her day. If I become distant and things start to drift off emotionally, in where she no longer talks to me or expresses to me how she feels then that’s where worry would set in.
If she’s not expressing herself to anyone and I’m not emotionally there for her. Eventually, she would get distant, and perhaps a friend will take that spot of emotional support.