Clubbing is a place where people go to get drunk, dance, and hook up. Hearing your girlfriend tell you she’s going to the club can sound a bit worrisome. It can be difficult to wrap your head around the thought, that your girl will be watched and talked to by a bunch of random thirsty dudes. So what can you do about it?
Is it bad that my girlfriend goes clubbing?
Although it is not bad, that your girlfriend goes clubbing, you should be worried if she’s going to the club on a regular basis without you. Because no matter how well mannered you think she is, she will eventually slip up. She’s going to be tipsy, dancing, and having a good time. Eventually, a guy will step up to her that she likes, and things may slip up.
Continue on reading below, we will cover more on why she goes to the club and the reasons you should get worried or not get worried. Plus we will tell you what to do if you feel unsure about your girlfriend’s clubbing habits.
Is It Bad For My Girlfriend To Go Clubbing?
A few years ago I was crazy about clubbing. It was filled with drinks and beautiful women. It was amazing I always ended up in the club with the expectation to go home with a beautiful woman. I mean that’s mostly the reason why guys go to the club.
Although that’s what guys go for, the probability of a guy sleeping with a woman is very rare. For women, on the other hand, they could get a guy to come with them to their house with a simple look.
It doesn’t matter if you or she are in a relationship. If either of you is approached by the most alpha guy or supermodel in the club, won’t you entertain the thought of being with them?
It’s not bad to go to the club, but you should be worried?
1) If she’s going to the club occasionally, like once a week or twice a week you should be worried
2) Don’t let your girlfriend go to the club all the time by herself. (Don’t force yourself to go with her all the time, you don’t want to dominate her take over her time.
3) No matter how well mannered you think she is, she will eventually slip up and make a mistake. (It’s the club people are grinding and dancing while drunk, so things could get out of hand eventually.
4) Maybe even nothing happens. But, what if she’s with her friends and they think they saw her make out with a guy? But she wasn’t doing anything wrong actually
5) The club is loud and dark, people may see things that may seem wrong but weren’t actually. And then word gets to you that she did something wrong, and from there you guys could have an argument and things could end up really bad.
Why Does My Girlfriend Want To Go Clubbing?
We all know the vibes and energy clubs give off. There is a lot of drinking, dancing, and grinding going on. As a guy, before I was in a relationship, I never went to the club to just dance and have fun with my friends. Although it was fun hanging out with the guys and getting drunk out of her head.
But all of us, me and my friends, had one desire. To hook up with girls. So every time my girlfriend would say, “I’m going to the club with the girls to just dance and drink”. It would always trigger a switch in my head that something could go wrong.
So, what could be some of the reasons that your girlfriend is going to the club?
1. Attention and Validation
Girlfriend or not, most girls go to the club to see if they still got it. They want to feel attractive, and to sense like they are wanted by other men.
That’s why they dress in their most revealing and most suggestive clothes. They want to present to everyone their best version of themselves. They not only want to be wanted by other men, but they also compare themselves to the other girls, to see if they are as attractive as the other girls in the club.
2. To get free entertainment and drinks
It’s the club, there are drinks and there is music, and it’s especially much more fun and entertaining for girls. Such openings such as “free drinks for girls” “free entrance for girls” most clubs and be very enticing. Plus add the bonus of probably having every guy in the club trying to buy her drinks.
So of course many girls use guys that try to hit on them, to get them free drinks, as well as get the most attention from them, so they can feel good about themselves.
3. To hook up
When we think of clubs, one thought that comes to everyone’s mind is, hooking up. Clubs are the easiest place to hook up.
Don’t be fooled, if your girl tells you she’s just going clubbing with her friends to drink and dance. She’s not looking for a man but if that one man, that alpha man steps up to her, well she’s going to entertain that thought of spending the night with him.
Women only really want attention in clubs. 98% of women will reject anyone that hits on them. But until they get approached by that one alpha male, that is rich and has broad shoulders.
Don’t mistake it. Your girl could be going to the club because of either one of those reasons, or all of them. So don’t go crazy and think she’s in the club searching for someone to sleep with.
But also don’t feel like she’s just going there to just dance and have a good time with her girls.
How To Deal With Your Girlfriend Going Clubbing?
Most Relationship experts are going to tell you to “not be jealous” in a relationship, to not show off your insecurities, and to act tough. I agree with that, but there are certain moments where you’ve got to listen to your heart and feel what’s right.
If something bothers you in a relationship, you should be open about it and communicate with your partner. If your gut is telling you that something’s off and uncomfortable, you should approach your girlfriend in the relationship and communicate your feelings.
Communicate. Don’t let these feelings build up. Because once you do, you start creating fake scenarios in your head that are unrealistic, which would cause you to go crazy.
Have a talk with her. Ask her what her intentions are? Ask her what a regular night out with the girls looks like.
Have these in mind when communicating to your girlfriend
- Only have the talk with her if she goes to the club occasionally
- Don’t sound controlling or worried (Approach with confidence)
- Don’t ever tell her she can’t go to the club. (You’re not her dad)
- Tell her gently how you really feel about her going to the club so often. And why you’re worried about it. Exp: Guys hitting on her, guys slipping things in her drink.
- You both could work towards a compromise. Hint at going to the club with her sometimes, don’t let her always go by herself
What to do if your girlfriend becomes defensive?
Maturity in a relationship is about understanding and communication. It’s about accepting some of each other’s insecurities and meeting each other at a point and decision. It’s not supposed to be about conflicting, belittling, or blaming each other.
Don’t let her respond like this
- “You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do”.
- “You’re acting really childish and insecure”.
- “Stop making everything such a big deal”.
- “Wow your acting so immature and jealous”
These are some good examples of an immature person. They are guilt shifting and acting controlling.
A survey conducted by Your Tango found the following lack of communication divorce statistics: ‘Communication problems’ is the most common factor that leads to divorce, at 65%. This was followed by couples ‘inability to resolve issues at 43%. Source from marciamediation.co.uk
When Is It Ok For My Girlfriend To Go To The Club?
Even though you might be in the most wonderful relationship, it can be very worrisome for every boyfriend out there, when their girl decides to go partying. It’s not the lack of trust we have in our girlfriends, it’s the fact that we know, what each and every guy in the club wants.
“If you can’t trust her, then you haven’t got a relationship”.
Trust is the foundation of a relationship. A relationship should not be about paranoia, and fear of the other person betraying you. If they’ve had a record of untrustworthiness, or if you have a good reason to feel suspicious, then what’s the point of that relationship?
Reasons that it’s OK for your girlfriend to go clubbing
- What’s the relationship like? Is there love and romance? Are you two love birds going crazy for each other?
- Who’s she going with? She better be going with a couple of her friends who are in a relationship
- She’s going for a bachelorette party or a friends birthday party
Reasons that it’s Not Ok for your girlfriend to go clubbing
- The relationship seems a bit shaky? Have there been fights and a lack of sex lately?
- She’s going to the club with a group of guys and girls. (80% chance that one of the guys in the group will hit on her hard)
- She’s going to the club with her single girls, who want to get drunk and move throughout the night.
- You’ve had suspicions about her. (Your gut feeling is really important)
- She has broken your trust before. She’s lied about who or where she was with.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is going to the club cheating?
The club isn’t a place where girls go to have sex with random strangers. Going to the club is totally fine people are dancing and having fun. Sure she will be approached by a lot of guys, but that’s why there is trust in the relationship. You should trust her to tell them to back off.
How to trust my girlfriend when she goes clubbing
Good communication is the most valuable thing in the relationship, tell her how you feel and what her intentions are when she’s going to the club. Express to her how you actually feel and both of you should work towards a compromise. However don’t be controlling and telling her she can’t go, you’re not her dad.
Now that you have reached the end of the article, lets go over some of the important points again.
Why she goes to the club?
- Attention and validation. Don’t buy her reason for going to the club just to hang out and dance with her friends. Females thrive and live off attention and validation
- Free entertainment and drinks. Most parties have a lot of “ladies nights” and “free drinks for ladies”, so it would definitely be a motivation for any girl to take advantage of these.
- Hook up. A very small probability that she is going to just hook up, but if that 1% high tier man shows up, and if she’s got a couple of drinks in her, then things could get out of hand.
Why it can be bad if she goes to the club?
- Every guy in the club is going to be looking and wanting to hit on her. Although she will turn down all of them, what could happen if she meets that top-tier 1% man. She could entertain the thought of being with him.
- Sometimes people can see things that aren’t entirely true, so word can get back to you that she was grinding on some random dude when in reality she wasn’t. And that can cause a heated argument with her in the relationship.
Who is she going with?
- It could make a huge difference knowing who she is going with.
- It’s more relaxing knowing shes going out with her friends that are already in relationships
- And it’s definitely more concerning when she’s going to the club with her single sweethearts that just want to get drunk and grind on the dance floor.