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Girls get 10 times more DM’s than us guys. And most of her notifications are going to be from guys hitting on her, and of course, she’s going to entertain most of them. But why does it seem like nothing has changed since you got in a relationship with her? Why does she still consistently text guys, and is it ok?
When your girl is in a committed relationship with you, it is not ok for her to text guys on a consistent basis, because when she’s texting other guys like that, she is opening more doors for them to come to flirt and get closer to her.
There are times when it is ok for her to text other guys, and other times it can be considered cheating. Below we will look at each one, as well as why she is texting other guys and what you can do about it?
Why It’s Not Ok For Your Girlfriend To Text Other Guys
As a guy I know why I wouldn’t be so welcoming if my girlfriend was texting a guy, and that is because I know how guys think, I know why he’s in her DM’s. Men aren’t the type of people to just write a girl: “how was your day” “Wow your picture was so nice”. Men aren’t just nice for no reason.
When a man texts like that, he’s got one motive, and that is to get in her pants.
Well, not all men are all the same, so don’t flood the comments section, by trying to get my head off. But 99% of them are.
“When she is texting guys consitenstly like that, she’s opening more door of oppurtunity for him. She might end up having a cup of tea with him next week thinking its ‘just what friends do’
Texts That Are Not Ok To Have With Another Guy.
|1.||She smiles when she gets a text from him||She’s developed an interest in chatting with him and wanting to know him deeper.|
|2.||Exchanging a lot of emojis||It depends on the emojis a guy uses, but 67% of men who don’t normally use them will drop them in texts to a woman they’re interested in. |
Read More: How to Know a Guy is Interested When He’s Texting You
|3.||Morning and good night texts||If a guy is trying to know how your girl is doing first thing in the morning and at night that means he really cares about her and has an attraction towards her, and vise versa|
|4.||She’s gossiping and telling him her daily life||The energy she’s putting to have these talks with another man is time and energy taken away from communicating and putting time into your relationship|
|5.||They often call or video call each other||The second barrier after texting has been initiated. Although there might not be any intention on her end. Over time attraction can be developed.|
Texting Others While In a Relationship
When you are in a relationship with someone else, you have agreed to commit. Your girlfriend may say and feel like it’s all fun and games and nothing serious will happen. She might not know it, but over time and countless interactions, she might start developing feelings for a guy.
As for the guy she’s chatting with, he already knows what he wants and he can play nice guy all along but he’s waiting for the perfect time to pounce on your girl.
Texting Examples That Are Not Ok To Have With Other Guys In a Relationship
Being too specific about what she is doing is another dangerous sign.
And especially that hearty face screams out Danger!
2nd phase, the guys feeling super confident with the girl and now they are planning to go outside.
The worst part is, your girlfriend will fool herself that nothing is going on, but deep down she’s ready to fall for this guy.
If you feel that you are in a toxic or unhealthy relationship, I recommend you read this article for a full detailed explanation
When It’s Ok For Your Girlfriend To Text Other Guys
Limits and boundaries. It is nearly impossible to have no interactions with the opposite sex and that’s not an issue, the issue is that some girls try to continue conversations and entertain guys hitting on them.
I mean it feels good to get attention and compliments from the opposite sex. But when a person is in a committed relationship they should understand when to draw that line towards flirting and continuing a conversation with a guy.
So helping a coworker out, keeping it professional, or just telling a friend happy birthday is not an issue. Below we will be looking at a table stating what is acceptable texting standards to the opposite sex.
Texting Examples That Is Ok For My Girlfriend To Have With Another Guy.
|1.||Doesn’t sound too enthusiastic to continue the conversation||When we like someone, we tend to find ways to extend the conversation. But when you’re in a relationship you should cut it short and say what you had to say and bounce from the chat.|
|2.||The use of emojis are very minimal||Emoji use never goes towards the hearty eyes, face, and cute ones. They have to be kept to minimal or very friendly such as the smiley faces or the flexing muscle emoji|
|3.||When a guy seems to be flirting, she shuts him down, Fast!||If a guy seems to be trying to make his move, she either has to shut him down fast or let him know you’re in a serious relationship. She should not entertain herself with flirting and attention.|
To learn more on how to stop a guy from flirting over text. I recommend you to read this blog.
|4.||They text once or twice a month||Before the relationship, she might have had some close guy friends. Now that she’s in a relationship she should limit conversations to once or twice a month. Nothing that could harm your relationship|
|5.||They don’t meet up alone||Do you ever see your dad hang out with random women alone? No, then why should she hang out with a random guy?|
Texting Examples That Are Ok To Have With Other Guys
This is a look at when a girl friend of mine commented on my photo, and set a date to meet up and hang out
I could have certainly tested the waters and continued on the chat. However, I shifted the chat to something very friendly and left it there.
“When you’re in a relationship you should never allow yourself to fall for someone else”.
Two comments were made on my post + a cheeky friendly flirt.
I just casually sent something simple and neglected to continue the conversation.
After a couple of times, she completely stopped sending me any story reactions or texts.
Why Is She Flirting With Other Guys Through Text?
When your girlfriend first gets in a relationship with you she’s still going to have plenty of guys in her Dm’s trying to pursue her.
When she’s in a committed relationship, she’ll let them know she’s in a serious relationship and can’t talk to other guys. However, some girls neglect some of these boundaries in the relationships for various reasons such as.
- Loves the attention and chase
- Has guy friends, that she doesnt want to lose.
- Wants to test if you get jelous or not.
Below we will look at each part more closely.
1. Loves The Attention And Chase
Girls love attention, they live off attention and compliments. When she feels that she is wanted and complimented by many men it boosts her ego, she’s used to feeling desired.
I have personally come across many girls that keep guys around in order to make her feel special. Even though she won’t be sleeping with them, she’s flirting and giving her time to them, which should be worrisome in a relationship.
2. Has Guy Friends, That She Doesn’t Want To Lose.
Some girls just find it easier to get along with guys. This could be a difficult one because even if she may feel like she is ‘just friends with the guy, as guys we know how other guys think, and what they actually want.
It doesn’t matter how friendly the guy may seem, if he sees an opportunity with her, there’s no doubt that he’ll take it.
3. Wants To Test If You Get Jealous
Girls are notorious for putting guys to the test. She might not even realize it but most girls will flirt and talk with other guys to see how insecure and jealous you could get.
If she recognizes insecurity and jealousy in you it could lead to two disasters. One is that it allows her to gain more control over you and superiority in the relationship because she now sees you as a weak boy that can’t survive without her
And secondly, it could lead to multiple chains of reaction which could head to more arguments or even a breakup.
4. Has Caused Her To Change Her Views On You
As the relationship progresses we become more aware of the parts of our partners that we don’t like. So if she’s flirting or texting other guys, it means she has seen a change in your behavior in the relationship.
For example, if she notices you are super insecure and get jealous easily, shell understands that you’re not such a high-value man, and she’ll just tag along until someone better comes along.
Platonic relationships could be dangerous, find out in this blog what could go wrong
What Should I Do If My Girlfriend Is Texting Another Guy.
Watching those notifications pop up on your girlfriend’s screen of random dudes, can feel like she’s somehow sabotaging the relationship or she might not understand what a relationship really means.
In this part, I will be splitting it into a few parts in order to help you understand and better help you on what you can do if your girlfriend is texting other guys.
1. Define Your Relationship.
Some people see relationships differently. From the boundaries and expectations, each person might believe they have for each other. In the end, we might be from different cultures or from different families with different beliefs. We can’t read our partner’s minds of what the definition of a relationship really is to them.
I have seen many girls hang out with various guys whilst in relationships, some partners have a big problem with it and others don’t.
So it is up to you to define what you are really in with your girlfriend and what boundaries and expectations you both have of each other.
2. Understand How You Are Feeling.
If you are on this article that means you are getting worried and a bit jealous. Did you know that jealousy is a prerequisite of fear? So ask yourself what do you fear happening?
- She catching feelings?
- Cheating on you?
- Finding someone more intresting and fun than you?
Understand why you feel this way, so when you approach her you will be more prepared for what you will say.
3. Don’t Show Weakness
And lastly, whatever you are noticing, don’t ever seem insecure or jealous in front of her.
Insecurity and jealousy can turn women off. When she sees you’re sure of your attraction and confidence in yourself, she will gather a greater sense of respect for you.
What To Say?
Gather whatever was said above. When it comes to feelings and problems in a relationship you should always try to resolve them by communicating
But don’t ever try to sound desperate or worried.
Be calm and collected and approach her on what you expect in the relationship.
Say Something Like:
“Hey baby, I want to tell you something, I’ve noticed for a while now that you have some guy friends that you talk with regularly. I just want you to understand the more you get closer to a guy, the more your opening the door for him to get closer to you, being a guy I understand that none of them really want to be your friend and they just want to get in your pants”.
“Being in relationship to me means that both partners should respect who they are talking and hanging out with. For example, I will never talk with a girl constantly because I know there is a slight chance that it could lead to something else”.
“So I’m not asking you to cut all communications with them but since we are in a relationship we can work towards a compromise such as you talking and texting them less. When hanging out with them make sure you’re in a group of mixed guys and girls”.
No matter if her bio says in a relationship or married, there will still be half a dozen guys trying to take your spot.
Commitment doesn’t come easy. As a guy, I can honestly say that I get excited and wonder which new girl has followed or texted me on Instagram. It can be very easy to fall into replying back and entertaining the conversations.
But entertaining and flirting over the phone can be considered a lack of commitment towards your partner and even considered cheating.
If she can’t keep discipline by avoiding attention, then it can be certain that in the future if she were to find a better guy she would go with him.
- Texting other guys is Ok, but it’s about the consistency and how she is talking with them. Scroll up to learn more
- She will text other guys because of two main reasons: To get attention or to test your insecurity in the relationship.
- Don’t show weakness or jealousy in the realtionship. Being unfazed in her test shows her that your confident in yourself and attractivenss
- Communication is the best medicine in fixing a relationship. Discuss with her your expectation in the relationship and what you consider exceptable and unaacceptable in the relationship
- If she unwilling to compromise in the relationship and calls you insecure or judges your trust in her, it signifies her immaturity in the relationship.
- Dont allow a girl to disrepect you in the relationship. Fight for the relationship, but if shes unwilling to walk with you. Dump her.