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It can be fairly simple to get along with someone you know or someone you’ve grown up with such as your cousin. But can dating or falling in love with your cousin be something ordinary and ok? In this read, I hope to lead you in the right direction on whether or not dating your cousin is ok.
It is completely OK to fall in love or to date your cousin. Love is a deep feeling of affection, it doesn’t matter if it is a stranger or a cousin you can develop deep feelings for them. It is beautiful to choose who you want to date and love but ask yourself “Should you act on this Love”? Consider these things before you enter into an intimate relationship with your cousin: Family consequences, Your kids could have poor birth defects, Society can be judgemental
Dating your cousin wasn’t always like this with the judgments and problems. So what has changed? There are good and bad reasons to dating your cousin, so continue on reading as we’ve got much to cover on dating and falling in love with your cousin.
Why Dating Your Cousin Is Ok?
Dating a cousin has become a big fuss around the world. There’s no right or wrong with dating your cousin. Some countries and societies view it as a sin and others view it as absolutely the right thing to do. So where is the middle point? Below I have mentioned two reasons why dating your cousin is ok.
1) Love should not be limited towards societal norms
Have you ever heard the saying you only live once? Well, you do, and falling in love with your cousin is totally ordinary. They are a person with whom you have grown up and share a lot of interests and hobbies.
Don’t worry about what society thinks about dating your cousin. If you like him or her, go and ask them on a date and see where it goes. Who knows he or she might be the one you marry.
2) Good For The Family
Developing a close friendship and love with your cousin is good for both families. (But only if they approve of you dating your cousin).
It has been a common practice for hundreds of years to match up cousins together because it helps to preserve family wealth, keeps cultural values aswell as strengthening family ties.
Now before you go on your first date with your cousin. Make sure your family is completely ok with you doing so. Because if they are not then things could get a bit out of hand.
Why Dating Your Cousin Is a Bad Idea?
In many parts of the world dating or marrying your cousin is uncommon. And it can feel pretty unsettling knowing that dating your cousin could create such gossip and judgemental faces
Societal norms and Judgements
Depending on where you live, dating your cousin comes with a lot of judgments and gossips. In most parts of the world, people view dating your cousin as wrong.
More than 10% of all marriages in the world are comprised of cousin marriages. Meaning that although there is the backlash of judgments that society throws at marrying your cousin, people still do get married to their cousins.
So before you go to either dating or marrying your cousin ask yourself if you would be fine with some people judging and looking at you differently.
Could Hurt Both Families
How would family holidays together look like if one of you gets into an intense argument or even worse breakup? It will surely turn into a lot of unpleasantry for both of you.
Remember in the end of the day if you go through a break up with your girlfriend/boyfriend all ties are cut.
When you break up with your cousin he or she will still be your cousin there are strings still attached. Sooner or later you will have to see them in family dinners or holidays.
Worst case scenario could be that your breakup could be so bad that it completely destroys and disconnects both of the families all together. So be careful how you approach dating your cousin. You don’t want to start a whole family war because of your romantic dramas
Your Kids Could Have Genetic Problems
The biggest concern towards cousin marriages is the disorders that their babies will face.
You share around 7% – 12% of the same genetic material as your first cousin. Meaning that it is much more likely for their babies to receive poor DNA traits from their parents.
The ongoing negative talks of cousin marriages are linked to the possibility of miscarriages that their kids could have. And the question is that if it is ethical to bring a miscarried child into this world?
The whole Dating your cousin thing is a complicated thing. Down below I talk about how it all started and what it looks like today to marry your cousin. Read on to get to the bottom of this whole dating your cousin thing.
Marrying your cousin. What Does it Look Like Today?
Growing up in most families, our parents would tell us that marrying or dating your cousin is a big no-no. Although this saying is very common in many conservative countries there are still many people in these countries that break out of this ideal that dating or marrying your cousin is a bad thing.
Did you know that 10% of all marriages in the world are between cousins, and in some regions of the world that number is 50% .
Credits to the businessinsider
For example, looking at my own family we have 3 marriages between 1st and 2nd cousins. And my family is Iranian, which by the way is a very religious country and highly sensitive on this topic.
In parts of the world such as China, Taiwan and both North and South Korea have banned the practice of cousins marrying.
As for America, Only 24 out of the 50 states have legalized cousin marriage. 20 other states in America have prohibited first cousin marriage completely and the additional 6 states only allow first cousin marriages under certain circumstances
Meanwhile, there are also many countries such as the United Arab Emirates, Jordan, Yemen where first-cousin marriage is far more common and viewed as less dangerous.
West African countries actually have this saying that says: “Cousins are made for cousins”
Dating Your Cousin. Wasn’t always like this
Did you know that Queen Victoria, Albert Einstein and Mr natural selection Charles Darwin married their first cousins.
For decades and centuries, the debate on dating your cousin has always been around. One of the many instances where having any type of relations with your cousin was prohibited back in 506AD. During which the Roman Catholic banned the practice of people dating or marrying their cousins.
It has actually been estimated that as many as 80% of marriages in human history have been between first or second cousins
80% of marriages of human history were with their cousins! That is an insane statistic. Back in the day, I’m talking back hundreds of years ago, the world wasn’t so connected meaning people didn’t travel far to find a spouse.
For most of western history, people had to marry whoever lived nearby. Which oftentimes means marrying within the extended family.
The Year When Dating Cousins Became Less
From 1825 – 1875 it became more of a norm for Europeans and North Americans to date and marry outside their families.
1875 and onwards people became less related as mass rail road travel was made possible.
FAQ
Is it normal to be sexually attracted to your cousin?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being sexually attracted to your cousin. It’s not like you would be getting involved with someone like your brother or sister. first cousins at most share 12% similar genetic traits. The second cousin is 3% and the third and fourth cousin there is as low as 1% genetic similarity.
But with a higher genetic similarity, there is a higher chance that your babies could turn out to be more abnormal.
Final Thoughts
Welldone in reaching the end of this article. I hope that it answers many of your questions and it removes doubt from your mind on whether you should date your cousin or not.
But before we say our farewells, there are still two things you should do if you’ve caught feeling for your cousin. Read down below to know what it is.
You love your cousin? Do This Before Doing Anything Else?
Ask for advice from your parents first. They might be in shock and feel uncomfortable about it, but however, give them some time to get over the shock and they should give you some good advice about it.
It is better to ask your parents and go through a bit of an awkward situation with them rather than having the whole situation blow up and cause a whole family drama.
Think About It Carefully
There are way too many people in this world to have a romantic relationship with. It would be a shame to mess up your family relationship by dating your cousin romantically.
Just because you both share love and admiration it doesn’t mean you should act on it. Try to look at the bigger picture.
Hey guys! my name is Farid Babajan and I’m the co-founder of relationshipwhatsup.com. Around 5 years ago I came out of a relationship which I wasn’t too happy about. Afterward, I decided to start kicking ass in life and in relationships. Getting to understand people around me better as well as myself. This has allowed me to share with you all my knowledge on Love, Romance as well as complications and problems in relationships.
Strangely enough most of your facts are right except a first cousin is 25% blood, not 12 but risk of defects are actually quite low. I have enough love in my heart to be with my cousins but I can’t really see myself having sex with them. I’d rather just have a life-long friendship with unconditional love and good times and memories that can’t hurt or anger anyone.