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Being in a relationship comes with jealousy whether you like it or not. Sometimes my girlfriend has approached me on why I tend to be flirty with her friends, and truthfully I wasn’t, it was just a basic misunderstanding. Here I will make it clear if you are misunderstanding him, or if he is actually flirting with your friend.
There could be many factors to consider if your boyfriend is flirting with your friend. But the 4 biggest signs that your boyfriend is flirting with your friend are:
- He goes out of his way to unnecessarily help her.
- He gets very excited to see her. (His eyes light up)
- He gets to know her more personally.
- You can feel that he is flirting
When I’m with my girlfriend these are the signs that have always given me a sign that something is off. HOLD up don’t go anywhere! Read on to know why he flirts with your friends, and what you can do about it if he flirts with your friends.
4 Signs That Your Boyfriend Is Flirting With Your Friend.
There could be many more reasons to know if your boyfriend is flirting with your friend or not. But as a guy, I would initially put these signs as the most common factor that would be considered flirting with my girlfriend’s friends.
1) He’s Super Kind To Her.
There is a fine line between kind and being super kind. Being super kind means, does he go out of his way to unnecessarily help her, or impress her?
A man will show his love and commitment towards a women by the things he does for her. Such as being helpful, considerate and giving up his own time and plans to help her, and be there for her.
2) He Gets Super Excited To See Her
Watch his eyes and reactions when he sees her. Does his eyes light up? Does he suddenly act all enthusiastic and energetic when he sees her?
You can tell from his eyes. How does he look at her? There is a difference between flirty eyes and friendly looking eyes.
Below I will mention the two different occasions, that you should watch out for.
1) How does he act around your other friends?
Looking back at it now, sometimes I would act differently around each of my girlfriend’s friends. For one of her friends, I was very unbothered and calm. Her other friend which I’m not going to lie, I found her a ‘tad’ attractive, I would suddenly turn into a volcanic eruption of energy and fun.
I would do this unconsciously, but later I realized that I had a little thing for her and I wanted to impress her.
So make sure you pay attention to how he acts around your other girl friends.
2) How spontaneously does his energy change when he sees her?
So let’s say your both out and the dates going pretty alright, there are some fun exciting moments but not too much exhilaration. Until you make a 3-way plan with you, your boyfriend, and your friend.
Watch how his demeanor and energy suddenly change. If he’s acting a bit more energetic don’t worry. But does his eyes suddenly light up? And does he totally become a whole different person? If so, then keep your eyes and ears open around your boyfriend and your friend.
3) He Gets To Know Her More Personally
There’s nothing wrong with him trying to connect and getting to know your friend better. He just wants to have a good first impression on her. And that is because, well she’s your friend and he wants to make her comfortable and like you as a person.
If your boyfriend is getting to know your friend too personally then that could be an issue. I mean sure it’s fine talking and learning more about someone new. But is he getting to know her much faster and more deeply, each time you guys go out?
Questions that are too personal to ask your friend.
- What was your child life like? Was it hard?
- How’s your family? What are they like?
- What do you hope to achieve in your life?
- What’s your favorite movie? What’s your favorite food?
- Are you currently working out?
- How’s your dating life? Who are you dating now?
Many of these questions are alright to ask, they are perfect for getting closer to someone in a more friendly way. But try to consider how these questions are asked.
Are they asked mostly every time your boyfriend sees her? Pay attention to how your boyfriend asks these questions mentioned above. Consider his body language (eye contact, smiles, and slight touches). How strong does his body language come off when he talks with her?
4) You Feel It
Sensing that your boyfriend is flirting with another person may seem awful but you could never have imagined him flirting with your friend. It seems too unreal.
You may try change your mind on this fishy situation by telling yourself:
- “Oh maybe he’s just being nice to her cause she’s my close friend”.
- “I’m probably overreacting they are just probably very similar and friendly, there’s no problem”.
He is after all, your boyfriend, and who else rather than you would know him better. So there are some subtle things you’ve seen him do, which have made you think subconsciously like this. Don’t neglect these thoughts and hints your spotting, pay closer attention to them.
Why Your Boyfriend Is Flirting With Your Friend?
NOTE: Flirting with other people is a normal thing for humans, it can even help light up the current relationship. But often times, people that flirt more out of their relationships set themselves up for a disaster in their current relationship.
Flirting too much out of your relationship with other people can cause a drop in your emotional communication and emotional presence with your partner.
I may have not realized it myself, but there are a couple of reasons why I would seem to be flirting with my girlfriend’s friends. Below I will mention 4 of them.
1) I talk with my girlfriend all the time.
Being with someone all day and night for days in a row can sometimes feel really tiring. So it is always fun and refreshing talking with other people. My girlfriend had once accused me of flirting and leaving her to feel left out when we were with her friend.
The truth was that me and my girlfriend get to talk to each other all the time, so when we are out with different people I tend to talk with them more, and there are no intentions but just socializing and getting to know the other person better.
2) I like socializing.
I’m a very social and generally friendly person. I don’t like to make anyone feel left out in a conversation. So if I feel my girlfriend won’t talk with her friend as much, then I would generally spark a conversation with her friend, to not make her feel left out.
My girlfriend would usually get a bit jealous, but the truth is my intention is just to socialize and get to know the other person better. I love my girl, and a little conversation with someone else shouldn’t break that.
3) I want to leave a good first impression.
She’s my girlfriend’s friend. We all know that friends really have an effect on our thinking and thoughts. So I want to come off as that cool boyfriend. I want them to gossip about what a badass boyfriend I am.
4) Hes flirting because he’s attracted to your friend.
I may come off as flirty, but I was just trying to brighten the mood and have social interaction with my girlfriend’s friend. Although I found her attractive I wasn’t trying to hit on her.
Through closer observation of your boyfriend’s actions you could tell if he’s flirting or not.
Read down below as I will tell you the difference between being flirty and being friendly.
Flirting Vs. Being Friendly. Is your Boyfriend Flirting?
Sometimes you can mistake being just friendly and being flirty. I have personally gotten jealous of my girlfriend because I was mistaken her friendliness with her flirting. Here I will tell you the difference between flirting and just being friendly.
Just as the name implies being friendly with someone means interacting and talking with someone just like you would with your friends. There is kindness, compassion, and politeness there is no intent besides just being kind and courteous.
On the other hand, flirting means talking and interacting with someone in a way that hints at the possibility of an intimate relationship.
Examples of being Flirty and Being Friendly
Flirty 1: “Hey where have you been”? “It’s been a long time!” (While he holds a strong smile and gaze)
Friendly 1: “Good to see you again” (He’ll have a polite smile but nothing too dramatic”)
Flirty 2: “Wow look at you”! “You look amazing, have you been working out”? (More Enthusiasm)
Friendly 2: “I like your new hairstyle.” (Uses normal tone, just being calm and friendly)
What To Do If He’s Flirting With Your Friend?
If you are feeling that it’s getting too out of hand. The best thing you can do is to have a friendly conversation with him about it.
If you’re feeling really uncomfortable about it, your boyfriend should accept it, and not be all defensive about it.
Dont think your being irratiationail or sensitive on this subject. It’s not about being rational or irrational, it’s about him being rude and not showing regard or thought for you.
Flirting is not the issue at the moment, it’s about how it makes you feel, and if he can’t understand that then that’s another form of crossing the line in the relationship.
He is after all, your boyfriend. In a relationship, you should always try to keep the lines of communication open and decide together what’s acceptable in the relationship and what’s not.
Don’t Judge Too Quickly
You should be careful if you think that your boyfriend likes your friend. It can sometimes be a simple mistake because you have 2 people from the opposite sex talking. And that can make you think they are flirting and have feelings for each other.
Try to focus on your relationship with your boyfriend. Because if you are going make a big deal out of whether he likes your friend or not, then it’s going to jeopardize your relationship. You’re going to be doubting everything he does.
You’re going to ask questions such as Is he looking at her? What’s he doing on the phone? You start creating drama for no reason, you start an issue when in reality there most likely isn’t one.
Relationships are meant to be beautiful and easy. But unfortunately, sometimes it can turn into deceit and jealousy. It’s very hard to tell what your boyfriend’s true intentions truly are, even if you’ve known him for a long time.
To summarise this article, always have these main pointer in the back of your mind.
1. Don’t judge too quickly
Focus on your relationship and try to make it as romantic and fun as possible. Try not to bring jealousy and overthinking into it. Because once you do overthink things, your mind will always be on the negative, and therefore you won’t leave any room for the good things in the relationship to take place.
2. If he’s interested, he will be unnecessarily be kind to her
Nice guys will just do their thing and move on. They will be there to be too accommodating and helpful but flirty and interested guys are unnecessarily going to do things. Flirty and interested guys are going to do things for her, help her, talk with her and they would generally their time or go out of their own way to help her.
3. He should respect your feelings.
Flirting or not. He should respect your decision and be thoughtful about how you feel. If you express to him, that what he’s doing is wrong then he should respect it and stop what he’s doing.