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Does it seem like your boyfriend’s mom Is trying to tear apart the relationship? It’s crazy to see your boyfriend’s mom like this, but truth is, all moms can act and hold jealousy towards their son’s girlfriend. Below I will tell you about why your boyfriend’s mom gets jealous of you.
So, to answer your question on Why does my boyfriend’s mom get jealous of me?
- Her sons wellbeing
- Insecurity and Replacement
- She regrets not chasing her dreams
- She thinks youre prettier than her
- You have qualities or traits she always wanted
- Doesn’t like you
There is always some stress and pressure when it comes to meeting our partner’s mother. But for it to turn out catastrophically is unthinkable. Continue on reading, below we will be talking more about why your boyfriend’s mom gets jealous of you, and what you can do about it.
Reason 1: Her Sons Wellbeing
Your boyfriend’s mom is probably afraid that you’re going to break her son’s heart. It’s not only that girls get an overprotective mum, guys can also have pretty overprotective parents as well.
Some mothers are really caring and loving of their baby boy, however that love and care that some of these parents show, can be seen as too clingy and annoying at times.
This reason is coming out of my own personal experience of my parents. My dad’s mom has a very famous reputation within the family, for being too overproductive and clingy about what her sons are doing. Even to this day where my dad is 60 years old, his mom is still calling him every day.
To take you back 15 years ago to the time when I was in Dubai. I recall my grandma calling my mom every day to see where she was and who she was with. And my mum would despise it.
Some men’s mothers are always going to be there for them till the end. They are going to be much more choosey on who enters their son’s life. Especially if her son has been through a bad relationship or a bad breakup.
Just look at my mother’s relationship with her husband’s mother. She was nosey about everything my mom did, and it drove my mom’s and dad’s relationship to fights. Till the point where my dad confronted his mom on being too nosey and told her too not to bother my mum as much.
Reason 2: Insecurity and Replacement
She’s afraid that you’re going replace her as the most important woman in his life. Some families are really close, and they just can’t imagine their children being apart from them.
Luckily for me, I never had a crazy attachment to my family, neither did they, because I lived abroad in a boarding school. However, some parents are stuck to their children like superglue.
If your boyfriends super close to his family and mom? And suddenly you come along and take away the time the son spends with his mom. Then the mother may act in unkind ways towards you.
There are some reasons why your boyfriend’s mom may have become so dependent on her son. Below I will be going over some reasons.
Before you keep reading, I highly recommend you to have a quick look at this awesome relationship course which shows you all tips and tricks for girls who care a lot about improving their relationships.
Why Your Boyfriends Mom Is Super Dependent On Her Son
1. She’s a single mom: How close is your boyfriend to his mom? Is she a single mother? Does his dad travel a lot? If the answers are yes, yes and yes then she can get jealous because of obvious reasons.
She can get jealous of you because you’re stealing the only man in her life.
When we grow older, our circle of friends becomes smaller and smaller, and especially in the case of a mother. Her only fun and love in life may be her son or daughter, notably when the father isn’t around.
I experienced a bit of jealousy firsthand from my girlfriend’s mom. I am currently traveling and I want to take my girlfriend with me.
My girlfriend and her mom share a very close bond. Her dad is always on a work trip, so the only close person her mom has in her life is my girlfriend. Although her mom is really happy that she’s with me, she often does give me looks that are sad and desperate. I can feel that she just can’t imagine her daughter away from her.
2. Your boyfriend first relationship:
If your partner hasn’t dated or had anyone else in their lives before, it can be a bit weird and abnormal for your boyfriend’s mom, because now the attention and time have shifted to you.
His mom is jealous because you have taken a big spot in his life.
A mother that’s close to her son is afraid that. One you will be taking a lot of her sons time away from her. Secondly that he’s found someone better that will take better care of him.
Reason 3: She Regrets Not Chasing Her Dreams
You have to realize that at one point, your boyfriend’s mom was just like you. She was young and had her own dreams and aspirations.
Until she got pregnant, had to make sacrifices, or maybe she was in a relationship where there wasn’t much love and more struggle.
So she’ll become envious that she sees how beautiful, happy and successful you are.
Reason 4: She thinks you’re prettier
An unhealthy mindset to have. This is when your boyfriend’s mom feels insecure about how much better you are than her, appearance-wise.
What most women do in these situations where they feel threatened and insecure about another girl’s appearance is that they will start to insult them.
She’ll say things like:
- “Oh you’re gaining so much weight”
- “You need to start doing your make up like this, your make up is horrible”
- “You could wear better shoes at least, your shoes are pretty cheap”
Females by nature are very jealous and envious when it comes to other females around them. It’s like they are in a battle about who is better. And if any girl is considered better in their eyes, they will start to undermine and play a game of target and destroy.
To learn more about the female jealousy nature. Read this interesting article I read about why females put each other down
Reason 5: You Have Qualities Or Traits She Always Wanted
She is jealous of the qualities and traits that you have. These qualities could be physical and nonphysical. She may wish she was more well-spoken, smarter, or more versed in certain skills such as (makeup, cooking, Etc)
Look at yourself in the mirror and consider everything you’re good at, especially things you are better at than your boyfriend’s mother. Think about certain situations in where you show your skills and beauty, how does her demeanor change?
Your boyfriend’s mother could get jealous of how perfect you are, and how you may attract the crowd towards yourself.
These little signs of jealousy are easy to detect in someone who is jealous. The key is to always have them in the back of your eye, and try to get a sense of what emotions and facial expressions they show every time you either talk about yourself, when you show off one of your skills and when other people take an interest in you
Reason 6: She Doesn’t Like You
The final reason could be that she just doesn’t like you. As much as we would like to be liked by everyone we encounter, we are not going to come off as approachable and likable as we would like.
In most situations when we don’t like someone, we just avoid talking to them as much as we can. But in the case of your boyfriend’s mother, she’s going to show off her jealousy and hate towards you more because you are dating her son.
You may want to become defensive and fight the jealousy and hate that your boyfriend’s mother shows you because you feel that she can really ruin the relationship. But you should never approach the fire with fire in this situation.
Hold Up! Make sure you are absolutely certain that she hates you and that it’s not just something else. Because things can become a whole lot messier. I recommend you to check out this course on Body Language Mastery, so you can really understand what’s going on with your boyfriend’s mom.
Below I have mentioned some tips on what you can do when your boyfriend’s mom is jealous.
What Do You Do When Your Boyfriends Mom Is Jealous?
In simple terms, you want to assure your boyfriend’s mom that she will not be cut out of his future and that her son will be in good hands.
Below I will mention a couple of tips on what you can do if your boyfriend’s mom is jealous.
1) Respect the family connection.
Show intrigue and fascination in the family and her son’s relationship with her. Show class, don’t just be that girl that only goes out with her son for fun.
Commenting on family vacations, boyfriend’s history are ways to demonstrate awareness of your boyfriend’s special connection to his family.
Make small comments to your boyfriends mother such as:
- “Was he always this messy”
- “Thank you for raising such a man, he is such a gentlemen”
These small comments are not just compliments, they will make your boyfriend’s mom feel more assured of her son, and bring her closer to you.
2) Be Honest With Your Boyfriend
Talking to your partner and being straightforward with the fact that you feel uncomfortable around his mother. You should never launch into the discussion with anger and judgment when it comes to his mother.
Open the conversation with your boyfriend very calmly and honestly, tell him what is making you uncomfortable and distressed.
It is not easy telling off your boyfriend’s mom to your boyfriend. And it can get him mad. That’s why I always recommend people to master communicating properly in relationships. Here is a Simple Course on relationship skills needs, jealousy, communication, and others.
When someone really loves you, they would sit down and listen to your problems.
Most spouses have relationship problems because of their parents, such as my mom and dad. A mistake my mom used to make a few years ago was that she would respond angrily and judge my father’s mother, which wouldn’t go so well, and it would make my dad angry.
However, when my mom explained her problem thoroughly with respect, my dad listened to her unease and struggle. So he talked to his mom and now my mom and her husband’s mother are on better terms
3) Let It Rest and Move On
You need to understand at some point, that you won’t be able to control her behaviors. It may seem like you would need to have a close relationship, but you should move on from that idea of being close with his mother.
It takes two people to make a relationship work. Let go and move on if you see that you’re the only one that is making all the moves to connect and build a closer relationship with her.
I know how it feels when a relationship starts to progress and your parents and her parents start to take more attention to the relationship.
It can feel a bit frightening to meet your spouse’s parents. Thoughts such as “will they like me” keep popping up. And it is totally normal because a parents’ opinions really matter to their kids. So we always want to show off a good first impression.
Being hated with jealousy, especially from your boyfriend’s mother can really suck, but you should understand and consider why they may be acting this way.
In most cases for mothers that have a close relationship with their sons, it can feel weird and sad to see their son spend all their time with someone else that probably makes him feel happier and takes better care of him.
This Jealousy of a mother comes mostly from insecurity and fear of losing her closest person in her life. Since most mothers are mostly alone due to the fact that their husband works a lot and in more unfortunate situations they are divorced from the husband.
Any Mans Mom Can tear apart a relationship. That’s why it’s important that you make your boyfriend completely obsessed with you so nothing can separate him from you. Check out this course on “His Secret Obsession” To Learn How To Do That.
Respect Your Boyfriends Mother
At the end of the day, she is your boyfriend’s mother. Even though if your boyfriend seems to be spending more time with you it doesn’t mean that you’re going to be more important than his mother.
You will both be important to him. If you feel that your boyfriend’s mother hated you, I would advise you to always have respect for her. If you really feel that she is getting under your skin go and curse it out in an empty room or pillow.
Even though how mean she might get, go tell your boyfriend about it, but never disrespect her in front of her face.
If you would also like to read on reasons why your boyfriend doesn’t get jealous I suggest you to read this detailed article