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He seemed great, funny, and had great chemistry with you. But suddenly, Poof! He unexpectedly started texting you less. Going from living in a fairy tale to constantly worrying about why he’s not texting as much is up there as one of the worst feelings. But stick around a bit longer as I take you through what you can do about it.
From a fairy tale to a nightmare. Here’s why he is texting you less
- He feels like he’s the only one who initiates talking to you through text.
- You hardly see him physically outside.
- He is losing feelings for you.
- He’s gotten super busy in life.
- He started pursuing another girl.
- The relationship has settled down.
Handling one of the worst feelings isn’t going to be easy. However, I have included everything from why he is texting you less to how to get him to text you more. Continue on reading so you’ll be fully prepared on what to do in this kind of situation.
Is It Normal For Him To Text Less?
It is totally normal for him to text less in a relationship. When you are in the early stages of a relationship, things can feel very new and exciting for the both of you. You constantly think of the best ways to reply to each other. But when the relationship gets more serious things start settling down and becoming more neutral. And hence the newfound love and excitement becomes less over time.
This is known as the honeymoon phase. The honeymoon phase is the moment of time when the relationship is at its beginning, where there is a lot of laughter, lust, and romance.
Usually, the honeymoon phase can last up to 6 months for some, and 2 to 3 years for others.
Losing or getting out of the honeymoon phase isn’t a bad thing. It can sometimes even be more beautiful because now there is trust, comfort, a stronger bond and a sense of mission that you share for the well-being and success of each other.
Don’t suddenly take it as a bad sign just because he started texting less. It can be very normal for him to text you less. But what isn’t normal is when you turn insecure and possessive over his delayed texts – This can turn him off
What I’ve learned is that men change very fast. They can go from having fun and hanging out with you every day to suddenly joining the gym and going to work. Men make the mistake of expecting women to change as quickly with their new patterns of life.
Sudden change is a women’s worst enemy. It can make her question and overthink everything.
Are guys wrong then? No, it’s not your fault nor his. It’s simply the way in which men and women both operate and think in completely different ways.
I recommend you to read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus to understand the different sexes
Continue on reading as I expand more on why he is texting less.
Why Is He Texting Less?
1) He’s The Only One That Initiates The Text Conversations
Even though you may be responding right away to his texts. He’s going to get tired of initiating the conversation with you all the time.
Being the only one that constantly starts texting can become frustrating. Because he’s going to be thinking that he’s the only one putting in all the effort for this relationship.
He’s going to pull away hoping to see you do the right thing. If your pride is too great and you can’t start a conversation the same equal amount of times as him, then he’s going to move on.
2) You Don’t Meet Up With Him Physically Outside
Understand this. Most women will talk to 3 or more men but she’ll only show up and do things with this “one special man”. The 3 other men are “friends” and guys that are used for their emotional support. Women aren’t going to link anything sexual to these 3 other guys.
99% of guys who talk to women want something intimate out of it. The guy friends you have are just sticking around hoping there is a crack in the door so they can slide in and make their move.
So when the ratio of the time texting each other compared to the actual physical meet-ups is very unbalanced. He is going to know that the relationship isn’t going anywhere. Hence he doesn’t need to waste any more time texting you.
“If you’ve been texting through the phone for a couple months, with only 2-3 meet ups, he’s going to assume that you aren’t really serious about making things more serious.”
3) He Is Losing Feelings For You
This really depends on the phase of the relationship you are in. Truthfully guys, just like girls, can lose feelings for their significant other at any time in a relationship. But to narrow it down for you, feelings are mostly lost after the honeymoon phase and during the first couple of weeks of dating
The first few weeks of dating are still very new and exciting but yet there are a lot of questions and doubts. Things might be going great with him in these few weeks but however, if he decides that he doesn’t like you as much, he’s going to start texting you less.
The honeymoon phase is wonderful. In this phase, there is a lot of love, lust, and romance. It is almost impossible to break the rhythm of love in the honeymoon phase.
In your first or second year of a committed relationship, things are going to get a bit tricky. This study showed that the first year of a relationship is going to be the hardest because you are going to learn new things about each other every day. This is called the discovery stage, as well.
Common mostly during the first or second years of a relationship. The discovery stage of the relationship may affect how he feels about you, therefore he’ll try to become more distant over time.
4) He Got Super Busy In Life
Men can switch up in a matter of seconds. One second he could be out with friends drinking and constantly flirting with you to being fully committed to his gym lifestyle and professional career.
If for any reason your boyfriend hasn’t become a driving force for success, then he’s going through some personal thoughts and issues.
“You never know what men are going through and sometimes his biggest smiles are a mask for his biggest struggles”
5) He Started Pursuing Another Girl
During the first week – to the first month of dating
If for any reason he suddenly went from constantly being in touch with you, to being much more distant, then it means that he’s putting his time for someone else.
Most guys are going to text you only to a certain point. If he sees that this connection isn’t leading anywhere romantic, then he’s going to keep his options open elsewhere.
If he hits it off with another girl, he’s going to slowly tone down the conversations he has with you.
During the first year and beyond in a relationship
Relationships tend to hit a bumpy road during the one-year mark. This is due to the reason that most couples learn about each other’s imperfections.
Most guys love the commitment and fight for the relationship. But just as everything else that is good and bad many other guys will quickly leap out of a relationship just because there were certain problems.
6) The Relationship Has Settled Down
In order to be in the honeymoon phase forever, one must go on dates, have adventures, and spend a lot of time enjoying each other’s company. This becomes tricky once work and other life problems settle in.
Like it or not, relationships do settle down over time, only if the relationship isn’t constantly nurtured.
How Do You Know If He’s Losing Interest?
Did you know that there are exactly 4 main reasons why men might lose feelings?
35% – You are showing too many serious emotions.
30% – Less sex and less care for your physical appearance
20% – Your insecurities
15% – You are desperate on him to only make you happy
These are rough estimates done by talking to friends.
Figuring out whether he’s losing interest in you is as simple as looking deep within yourself and asking yourself if something has changed. Having the feeling that something is very different in his attitude is the best way to tell whether or not he’s lost feelings for you or not.
But, feeling although very important can’t tell you the whole story on what to believe. Read on to learn how you can know if he’s losing interest in you?
- Communication isn’t as much
- He’s rushing every conversation
- It’s getting harder to hang out with him
1) Communication Isn’t As Much.
Does it seem as if he isn’t putting any more effort into keeping in touch with you? Either it’s a drop in video calls, texting, or sometimes disappearing for days on end without a warning or explanation.
Words and actions are what make a relationship. When you slowly take away the communication aspect of a relationship things start to fall apart slowly over time.
“Lack of communication is the fastest path on becoming strangers for eachother once again”
2) He’s Rushing Every Conversation.
When the communication goes from sharing everything and talking about the most mundane things for hours on end, to barely talking about how each other’s days went can be a very powerful sign of his feelings for you.
If he’s interested in you, he would try to keep the attraction and excitement with you. If it seems as if he’s barely making it through a simple conversation with you, take it as a bad sign.
3) It’s Getting Harder To Hang Out With Him.
Does the number of meet-ups suddenly vanish? Or does he cancel and make excuses for upcoming plans.
When someone consistently cancels on the most important plans, despite your reminders on how important the plans were, it shows a lack of respect. And how they just don’t care as much about you or your feelings as they do for themselves.
Related Post: Here’s what to do when he blocks you. (Make him regret it)
How Do I Get My Boyfriend To Text Me More?
1) What’s Your Love Language?
Learning about each other’s love language is important because it will help both of you determine how to express your love to each other, so you may both feel more valued in the relationship.
It’s not always that your boyfriend doesn’t love you; It’s more often that he loves you in the ways in which he knows how to love you.
If you want to learn what your love language is and how to communicate it to your boyfriend read, the 5 languages of love
This book really breaks down what your relationship currency is.
For example, your relationship currency could be physical intimacy, kisses, gifts, or simply just texting ten times a day. So getting to the bottom of what you desire and need is the first step to getting your boyfriend to text you more often.
2) Get Feedback From People Who are Very Honest To You.
Before you initiate any type of resolution with your boyfriend you want to make sure what you are going to ask for is reasonable.
In our minds, our wants and desires sound reasonable to us, hence we aren’t willing to compromise too much for them.
Meet up with some friends you really trust and ask them for their honest opinion on whether it’s crazy or not that you need your boyfriend to text you 10 times a week.
If they seem to think that you are a bit unreasonable about this request, then that’s your queue to rethink things a bit.
3) Be Vulnerable and Initiate The Conversation.
Men love it when women initiate the conversation from time to time. Don’t let your pride get the best of you. If he’s not texting you that often, take the lead and text him with a simple “hello”.
There is this dated belief that men should always be the ones who start the convo. What about a change? If you really like him, start texting him first, for some time.
He might just be texting less because he is going through some challenges and hard decisions in his life.
My girlfriend initiates 80% of the text conversations we have? I’m a pretty introverted guy, so she doesn’t mind sending the first text message. I really believe it’s the reason we’ve become so close to each other.
4) Choose Men Who Want To Be With You.
If you see that your boyfriend can’t compromise in any way to meet your needs in the relationship, it’s time to consider this question.
Is he the right guy for you?
At the end of the day, there is absolutely going to be someone out there that is going to love you the way you want to be loved.
Many people stay in bad relationships because they are afraid to end something they have been spending so much time and effort in. Life is short, and life is worth living in the best possible way you can. If you are finding it hard to find any common ground with your boyfriend, then it’s probably a good time to move on.
How Do I Stop Waiting For His Texts?
Instagram, Youtube, Tiktok, and other major social media apps have hard-wired us into compulsively checking our mobile phones. The fear of missing out or FOMO is what gives us the urge to constantly check up on our phones.
Add the urge of social media to texting someone you like online. The mind can’t handle the need for that dopamine plus the constant paranoia on why he isn’t texting you back.
So what can you do? How can you release yourself from constantly waiting around for his texts?
There should be a bunch of other positive forms of reinforcement to keep your paranoid mind at bay. These include finding something which you are very passionate about, such as improving your fitness. Secondly, you should schedule a time where both of you can devote some time talking to each other, instead of wasting your time sending text after text without any proper reply.
Where it gets unhealthy in a relationship is when one partner expects the other to constantly be in touch through texting without having our partner’s plans in mind. We’ve all got things to get done individually, some more than others. But it can be very unhealthy and rude to keep expecting our partner to be updating their day through texts all the time.
Trying to keep in touch with your partner throughout the day isn’t the problem, and it can even be sweet because it shows just how much you care for him.
But you’ve got to make sure your draw the line on how often you hit him up.
Because if you’re the type of person who gets mad after he hasn’t answered in an hour or if you are someone who follows up with another text message when he hasn’t gotten a chance to respond, then you are setting yourself up as a possessive person.
If you feel as if you’re not getting the right attention from your boyfriend the best thing to do is to either ask him when he’ll be free so you’ll be able to text each other for a couple of minutes or to schedule a phone conversation with him, whenever he is free.
What a tactical game relationships are. A never-ending chess game that one has to master if they want to succeed and be happy in.
Expectations, wants, and desires in relationships are going to get broken from time to time. For the inexperienced, they will find themselves sulking and doubting if their partner is the right person for them or not.
If you want to deal with every other problem in your relationship including what to do when he is texting you less, follow these easy-to-follow rules of every relationship.
- Never assume that he doesn’t love you – Consider every reason why things have changed.
- Always try to keep educated in relationships. Because it’s something which you are planning to be in for the rest of your life. Learn how to make it more exciting, learn how to tackle difficult situations, and so on.
- Talk to each other and figure out where you both stand in the relationship. Understand and learn about each other’s love language (“what can we do in the relationship to make each other happier?” Exp: I need More hugs, I need more intimacy, I need more gifts and etc…)
- Know each other’s life plans. (Many women end up in a 5-year relationship hoping for marriage. But they end up realizing too later that their man was never interested in marriage.)
- Never stop working on yourself. Working on your dreams and passions brings your partner closer to you. As he will start appreciating you more. Self-development also allows you to be strong and ready if things were to ever go bad in the relationship.