12 Qualities To Look For In a man. Test Him On The First Date

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Finding the right guy may seem easy regarding the number of guys out there, but through in, throughout it always seems like the road just leads to another dead-end or heartbreak. I have gathered the only 12 qualities that you’ll need towards helping you find your perfect man.

So what are the 12 Qualities to look out for in a man?

  1. You both share similar values.
  2. Wants a relationship
  3. The 3 Pillars: Conversational, Physical, and Emotional Intelligence
  4. Has Emotional Intelligence
  5. He Respects You
  6. He Appreciates and Supports Who You Are
  7. He’s got his life together.
  8. He doesn’t play Games (He’s Straightforward)
  9. Positive and Optimistic
  10. He has Manners
  11. You Like his Friends
  12. Can make you Laugh (sense of Humor)

This article can work well for both men and ladies. For the ladies that want to get some insight on qualities that make the perfect man. And secondly, these 12 qualities can help men distinguish the traits they have and don’t have towards mastering their perfect manhood. Continue reading as we’ve got a ton to cover. Let’s Go!

1) You Both Share Similar Values

Values are defined as principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life. It is the ethics, morals, and standards someone holds.

Having similar values as your partner is one of the most important qualities in a successful relationship because you want someone to support and believe in the same things as you do.

Some important examples of values to know in a relationship:

  • A belief in God or an affiliation with a religious/spiritual institution
  • A belief that family is of fundamental importance
  • A belief that honesty is always the best policy and that trust has to be earned
  • A belief in maintaining a healthy work and life balance
  • A belief that the world is a fundamentally brutal place and that only the strong survive
  • A belief that people are powerless to change their fates.
  • A belief that other people are fundamentally untrustworthy and unloving
  • Is he a supporter or denier of climate change

When you and your partner share similar values, it can indicate to you how both of you will approach certain things in life, from Socializing and Working.

2) Wants a Relationship

Not a Quality, but it’s definitely something you better watch out for before spending much more energy and effort with him. You might meet a man that ticks all the boxes in the quality chart, but what good is it when he actually doesn’t want to get into a relationship and isn’t serious about what you two are?

If you see that you two are progressing well as friends, and there seems to be still a question and doubt on where you both stand, don’t try to wait it out more if he’s going to take the first step or not.

IF HE SAYS, There’s NOTHING between Us… Believe what he says. He may be perfect, but when a man isn’t ready and doesn’t want to commit, what’s the use in pursuing him emotionally? You’ll get your own feelings hurt.

3) The 3 Pillars of Pure Attraction:

1. Conversational

Our main Pillar of having a long-lasting and successful relationship comes down to communication. Communication in relationships helps you stay connected in your relationship and allows you to express your worries and needs to the other person.

When you can easily connect and converse with someone either in person or through the phone naturally and easily, that 3 hours conversation could feel like just a few minutes. That’s something very special and doesn’t come very easily with everyone.

Sex and a strong physical attraction towards someone are really important, but many of us get into a relationship by attraction towards our partner’s sexual and physical experiences.

Sex is a very powerful natural urge, and having sex too soon will be accepting your short-term urges in favor of long-term desires.

Try not to fall into your short-term urges, and try to abstain from sex with your partner for a month or two and see how the communication part of the relationship progresses. If your communication fades after a month, then it’s not such a good idea to have sex.

2. Physical

When it comes to the physical part of a relationship, there are two sub roots: Sexual desire and Physical security and protection a woman feels when she’s with her man. For a relationship to be as strong and secure, a man must exhibit these two physical traits. Read on to learn more about them.

Do your bodies naturally attract each other like magnets? That conversational and mental connection needs to be kept aflame by a strong sexual and physical desire. What’s the point of being great communicators when there’s no physical or sexual attraction? You two would just be perceived as a couple of friends.

3. Security & Protection

Women desire firm physical security and safety from their men. And by physical, I don’t mean you’ve got to be built like a Goliath or a boxer that can knock out guys like Mike Tyson. No, not that type of security. It comes down mostly to confidence and acting as a true gentlemen

Such as while walking outside:

  • Putting on her coat.
  • A firm embrace
  • A confident kiss.  
  • Holding her hand and keeping her hand warm
  • Stopping her from crossing the street when she didn’t look.
  • Taking a firm position on a decision.

4) Has Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is defined as individuals’ capability to recognize their own emotions and those of others, distinguishing between different feelings and labeling them rightly can guide, manage or adjust emotions to adapt to environments to achieve goals.

A strong emotional intelligence lets you identify all those small and big things in the relationship. Through active empathy and understanding of emotions, it would help realize the little shifts and changes in your partners’ romance that signal a need for action.

The ques of strong emotional intelligence in a man comes down to:

1. Letting you know what and how they feel. 

If there has been some conflict between you two or a little miss hap, he approaches it head-on. Express is the word I would like to use. He Expresses his desires and upsets. A prosperous relationship is all about effective communication.

2. Listen from emotional experience. 

He listens and tunes into every detail you tell him. Replies back through empathy and emotional understanding

3. Shows the support and love that you need.

 Not everyone is the same; your lover may not like to be kissed in public or has a different reaction to getting gifts and surprises. Understand and carry on through empathy.

4. Being prepared to work at the relationship.

 Many believe the work is done after they are in a relationship. A relationship is constant growth and learning together.

5) He Respects You

Respecting you doesn’t just mean not being a jerk and treating you like a princess. There are several roots connected to Respect that you should pay attention to.

1. Respecting your time

If he’s barely fitting you into his schedule or is making plans with you right out of the blue. When a man hits you up right out of nowhere to come to hang out, it is a sign that he doesn’t respect your time and believes you’ve got nothing better to do.

Ladies. Respect your own time and plans. Don’t always be available when he asks for you now without considering your own plans and schedules. Don’t be that booty call!

Another part I want to touch upon on is when he answers your phone calls and text messages without playing any games. Some of us guys are sometimes truly busy and it could sometimes be difficult to talk or answer texts immediately.

But some guys disregard her texts and calls and scroll through their Instagrams. A man should respect you. If he’s busy, how much would it hurt if he would send you an “I’m busy. Call you in an hour” text?

2. How he treats other people

How does he treat, talk with waiters, friends, and his mom? From these small interactions, you can just about tell a lot about how he would also talk with you.

3. Listens and makes eye contact

Through experience and observation, I have noticed my guy friends and strangers sometimes totally dismiss their girlfriends on casual hangouts and dates by always being locked onto their phones.

This will tell you that he feels that whatever is on that phone is more interesting than whatever you’ve got to say.

You’ll notice that a man won’t usually do this during the time before you two strike up a romantic relationship. Anything after that, the man seems to get lazy and uninterested. It’s like all that previous attention he gave was just an act to get you in the sack.

6) He Appreciates and Supports Who You Are.

In a relationship, we can all be tied down to just finding a man in order to have the title that comes with “a boyfriend.” And that leads us towards settling for just “Good enough.”

And this has led many women to lessen themselves and change who they are in a relationship. Of course, it is important to feel secure and protected in a relationship but at what cost. Are you who you want to be? Is he lighting your flame or pissing on it?

The Two Biggest Traits of a Supportive & Appreciative Guy

1. Young, Wild, and Free?

Many women may not realize this until they have gotten out of the relationship. They tend to realize how obscure and adverse they felt with the guy.

A Romantic relationship should be your haven, a place where you’re without any filters and acting. If he makes you feel like there are no judgments and he appreciates who you truly are, either in times when your joyful jumping up and down on the bed or the downs where you want to watch a movie and relax on the bed with a pair of sleazy pajamas.

If he makes you feel young, wild, and free don’t let him out of your sight.

2. Supports Your Goals and Outlooks

What are his words tell you, when you require some motivation to push through?

Or when you come home with good news, what does his facial expressions and words say? Does he seem a bit hesitant and jelous of your successes.

A man that sees you and him as one is really important. Remember a relationship should be about being with each other, supporting and growing while maintaining and growing as individuals as well

7) He’s got his Life Together

A man who has his Shit together is defined as a man who knows where he is going; he is disciplined. A man should have some stability, understands simple budgeting, and understands how and when to be assertive in certain parts of his life to get what he wants.

The last thing you would want to do is pick up after the guy in the relationship. But this should not be confused with building a relationship. A healthy relationship is one where you both accept each other’s flaws and help each other grow.

Some Clear Signs that a man has got his Sh!t together:

1. His home isn’t disgusting.

Is there food in his fridge Older than you are?

I just found this great article on 11 Subtle Ways Your House Can Predict Your Personality I suggest you Check It Out If You Want To Know More About The Guy Your Dating

2. He takes care of himself.

Does he clean his face, does he wash his hands when you’re about to eat? Are his clothes put well together, or are they just something out of a disaster movie? What does he put in his body? Sure we all like fast food once in a while but is everything he eats question if he’s going to live any longer?

3. He’s doing something with his life.

And no, not spending every single day of the day looking for ways to become a better Call of Duty Player. Is he asserting himself in the world? Getting a job, working out, a man with some vision for his own future. Not someone who calls back home to mom when the slightest hiccup in his life happens.

4. He plans stuff.

He knows how to make a hell of a night. You guys pick up at the restaurant, and then the setting changes to bowling. He knows how to take the setting to another place naturally and keeps things fresh and exciting.

5. He remembers things about you.

This may seem very basic, but wouldn’t it be amazing if a guy knows how you would like your eggs in the morning or if you were allergic to certain types of nuts. This shows that he has an interest and remembers everything that you say.

8) He Doesn’t Play Games

It is most likely that we’ve all been in this situation, where we were dating someone, and it just feels off. Maybe you were into them, but they were holding back or were probably making you work for them and their affection in some way.

Women and men are victims of playing mind games. But here we will be taking a look at why he is playing mind games and why you should stick to your intuition and decide to not pursue the relationship anymore if he’s playing games.

Playing mind games with someone can feel pretty off-putting as it makes women question where they stand in the relationship and it creates a lot of insecurity and stress which should have been easily avoided.

Being straightforward is the quality which you should be looking for in a man. Someone that says it like it is. Not someone who makes many twists and turns in the relationship and keeps you guessing what is to come.

So what are some of the things a man will do to play games with you?

1. He rarely Initiates contact

Feels like he’s one foot in and one foot out. He could be testing you or is on the fence if he’s into you. If a man wants you, he would do anything to see you. So ladies don’t always initiate the date or conversation put it on him to set up the next date or starting the conversation.

2. He has a lot of excuses

At the beginning of dating, a guy will see how much he can get away with. Any plans or meet-ups set by you seems to have the same unusual response by him. He will come up with every excuse under the sun not to meet up. If he can’t make time with you occasionally, you really have to consider if you are really a priority to him.

3. I have Option Game

This is more of a serious foul game. If he’s calling you the “Lucky girl” and that you’re lucky, he chose you, shows low self-esteem in a man, and he’s trying to show off his alpha-male status. Men that have options don’t need to go around and tell you that they have options. That’s a bit weird.

4. He introduces Jealousy

The biggest and worst type of mind game. This goes to the last point made on the options game. When you two have been dating for 2-3 months, and he can’t make time for you at the prime times of the week, such as Saturday and Sunday. He’s trying to say that you’re not a priority, and he’s got that time saved up for someone more important.

9) Positive and Optimistic.

No one wants to be around someone who totally breaks down and is totally pessimistic about everything that happens in his life. No one wants to mother a 12-year old who complains about everything in his life.

Of course, when you’re in someone’s life, you should be their supporting system and vice versa. However, when you’ve just started dating, and it seems like he’s hopeless, pessimistic, whines, rants about everything. Then you might want to move on!

A man that is optimistic and looks life straight on even in his adversities shows a strong capable human being, which can translate to him working out things better in a relationship.

10) He has Manners

Manners can be defined as how you make someone feel.

Manners are something that we learn through experience and practice. Is the man aware of his surroundings, and does he know how to act and not act in certain situations?

It’s not that men are rude, but some men who show proper manners and respect in social interaction really stand out from the bunch.

So does your man tick off some of these boxes on manners?

1. Does he use his mobile phone when he’s with you?

When a man is aching to check his phone every 5 minutes or is scrolling through Instagram while you’re telling him about how your day. Just show a lack of respect and interest towards you. Ladies stay away from this one!

2. Is he Punctual?

Our time is our greatest asset; it is something which we can’t get back, and when a guy flaunts your time and shows no courtesy in hitting you up and saying that he will be late shows that you can’t really depend on the guy in the future.

3. Over use of Foul Language?

Saying the F word or S word here and there once in a while can add interest in a story or a situation. But if he’s constantly on the roll with using this type of language just shows a lack of education and a bad habit.

4. Does he hold the Door for you?

A simple but yet beautiful gesture. This shows that a man is putting you before himself.

11) You like his friends

There have been many quotes and references to the importance of the people you surround yourself around with.

When he’s around his friends you can quickly tell if he’s his authentic self around you or not.

If he totally changes around his friends, it means he’s been putting a bit of an act in front of you in order to impress you.

Does he invite you over to hang out with him and his friends? This could be a great sign that his friends appreciate you and that your man isn’t shy of showing you off to his friends and isn’t the type of guy who puts on an act in front of his friends with you.

12) Can make you Laugh

A good sense of humor and someone that can make you laugh is definitely on the top of the list for any woman.

This doesn’t mean that he’s got to be an absolute stand up comedian. But find a guy that can take a joke and has a good sense of humor.

A guy that has a good sense of humor is just really easy going on life, and they tend to break tension and worries with jokes.

If things aren’t going your way and he breaks the ice and tension with a joke and makes you see things from different perspectives is definitely a keeper.

Kill Unrealstic Qualities In Meeting The Right Guy

Keep your expectations realistic. In this article, you may have hoped to find out the “perfect” man with dazzling blue eyes and a shining knight in suit armor, something straight out of a Hollywood movie. Movies have brainwashed our minds into believing that there is a “Prince charming” out there or a “Relationship God.”

In a relationship one way or another, you would always come across issues that you’ll eventually have to work through; there’s always going to be something you don’t like about them. Let this be a piece of serious advice; every man you’re going to meet will have flaws.

If the man isn’t abusing you, cheating on you, deceiving or manipulating you, then you know you can converse and build on what you already have.

Putting the man to the Test: First Date Mistakes.

The first date can play a crucial role in getting to know what your date is about, what kind of person they are, and whether you are attracted to them or not.

First dates can be pretty stressful, which is totally normal when you don’t know what to expect. Through all that overthinking and stress.

women’s biggest mistake on the first date is that they try to create how they want the date to go, especially from the questions they plan to ask to figure him out.

I can bet when the butterflies kick in, and your thoughts whirl out of control, it would probably lead many of you to get help from Google making searches such as: “Great first date questions to ask him.”

And that’s totally the wrong way to think about it. Getting this knowledge is good, but it should not lead you to get out of your way and turn into an interrogating robot.

Instead, be yourself and let the conversation have its natural flow, just like the image provided below.

Remember, the more you let a man talk, the more you’ll find out about him

Watch, listen and observe everything he does to the smallest detail: With just one date, you’ll be able to recognize some of his personality traits through his Non-Verbal Ques such as:

  • Treats waiters: How a man treats a waiter can show a lot about someone’s personality: It can show the empathic ability to put himself in someone else’s shoes & If the person is rude to waiters, they cannot communicate with sensitivity to other people.
  • Tips: By just observing how much tip he leaves. You can make out if he’s an Abundant or Scarcity type of person.
  • Offers to Pay: It has been viewed and accepted that men pay for first dates for a long time. These days the culture is shifting on more of an equal split between the pay. But if you feel like a man should prove himself and be chivalrous on the first date, then there’s nothing wrong with that. But don’t reject the person and decide not to see him anymore. It’s more of a personal preference.
  • Drinks: Drinking can be a fun part of a date (and helps break the ice). But some of us go above and beyond by getting too drunk and blabber about how much we either hate our jobs or how much we miss our Exes. Inability to control his alcohol intake shows a lack of discipline and control.

CONCLUSION

Finding a guy that fulfills your attraction preferences is simple there are many good-looking good men out there. You want to find and date a man that can stand on his own two feet, a man that has his shit together but as well a man that is not afraid to let out his inner child.

Physical attraction is the biggest contributing factor when we choose to chase someone. Realize that you must set your natural human instincts aside and try to really get to know a man.

After dating someone for a time, you would be able to grasp what type of person they are. If you want to question if you’re in a healthy relationship or not, you would have to ask yourself, are you willing to live with this person in the long term?

Every relationship has its problems, there are always going to be things that aren’t perfect, and there are going to be things that are going to be wrong. The question isn’t how we can avoid every problem or even solve every problem.

Ask yourself: Are you going to be content with the problems he has now in the long run? If these problems consist of things such as if his bedroom is messy or his religious beliefs are different from yours then those are not such a big deal. Problems, which don’t bring negativity or toxicity, are problems that can be tolerated and worked through.

Only you can decide your standards and what you can live with. So ask yourself if you’re ok with the problems he has right now and if it never changed would you be ok with it? If YES, then you’re in the perfect relationship.

Aria Abasian

Hey guys! my name is Aria Abasian and I'm the co-founder of relationshipwhatsup.com. Around 5 years ago I came out of a relationship which I wasn't too happy about. Afterward, I decided to start kicking ass in life and in relationships. Getting to understand people around me better as well as myself. This has allowed me to share with you all my knowledge on Love, Romance as well as complications and problems in relationships.

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