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Do you sometimes feel like your not a priority anymore? It can oftentimes be very frustrating when your boyfriend’s friends get more attention than you. In this read, I will cover why your boyfriend spends more time with his friends, and what you can do about it.
So what can you do, when your boyfriend spends more time with his friends than you?
The best thing you can do is to focus on yourself and make yourself more of a priority. Don’t wait for his call on whenever he’s done spending time with his friends or doing his own things. Create your own plans; Go have more girls nights out, go to the gym work on a hobby. Let him, free his time for you.
It can come as a test when trying to decide on what to tell your boyfriend about his constant meet-ups with his friends. Let’s get to the bottom of it! Why do does it seem like he is avoiding you? Continue on reading to learn more about this weird behavior
Boyfriend spends more time with his friends. What to do?
There are two scenarios, in which your boyfriend does when it comes to spending more time with his friends. In this section we will take a look at both scenarios, and telling you what you have to do about it.
- He only seems to be hanging out with his friends
- The only time he hangs out with you, is when he is with his friends.
1) He only seems to be hanging out with his friends
I have met many couples, in which the girlfriend seems very worried about her relationship with her boyfriend, just because he spends way too much time with his friends, it seems like he has pulled back, and isn’t spending time, or putting in the same effort to see her.
There are 2 reasons, why he has suddenly drifted off in the relationship.
The 2 reasons, that has made him spend more time with his friends than you?
1) He finds you boring: It can get boring for him if you and your boyfriend have been doing the same constant thing over and over again. Therefore nothing excites him anymore in the relationship.
2) Isn’t committed to the relationship anymore: He could have either lost interest or just didn’t see the relationship as long-term.
What, can you do if he spends more time with his friends?
1) Set up your own priorities: Some men in relationships expect their girlfriends to be ready and to say yes to any plans made by him, at any time of the week.
Don’t allow someone to run the relationship like this, set up your own plans and hobbies, let him make time for you.
Make him understand that your an actual priority and if quality time is not being put in for you, he would risk losing you.
2) Talk with him: Avoid scolding him or giving him a silent treatment. You need to make it clear. Where both of you stand in the relationship?
Sit down and express your feelings, and express freely with each other what’s happening and try to reach a compromise.
The last thing you and your boyfriend would want to happen is to waste time in a non-committed and non-desired relationship.
3) Bring back excitement: As mentioned above, one of the main reasons that he’s not spending enough time with you is because he’s bored with the same routine activities and plans you do with each other.
Try to do things outside of the box. Find new stuff and do them together. Such as,
- Visit the tourist attractions in your town and take lots of pictures.
- Go to the airport and get the cheapest flight to anywhere.
- bike ride followed by a picnic.
- Go for a boat ride and bring dinner or snacks to eat while on the cruise.
2) The only time he hangs out with you, is when he is with his friends.
It’s pretty frustrating when the person you love the most, doesn’t seem to even put that much effort into spending time with you. Especially when he mixes you and his friends together when hanging out.
I can understand the feeling of being neglected just like you, because I can put myself in your shoes. If my girlfriend didn’t actually put any quality time with me, and the only time I got with her was with her and her friends, it would suck.
It can be very uncomfortable, because you would feel anxious or left out, like a sidelined football player. Especially when his friends are not comfortable having you around during a boy’s night out.
What to do, when he only spends time with you around his friends?
1) Communicate to him: Avoid setting rules and giving your boyfriend an ultimatum. Sit down and communicate. Good communication could just be the greatest thing for couples to get through anything.
Sometimes your boyfriend may have no agenda towards hanging out with his friends more than you. He may be doing it unintentionally. And may not realize that it’s hurting you. So sit down with him and have a friendly chat.
However, if he keeps persisting and putting you on the back burner, you’ve got to stop selling yourself short, go find someone that just cant wait to see you, and hang out with you.
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Understanding men. Why isn’t he spending as much time with you?
Some men, seem to like their girlfriends nagging to them all the time, or asking them where they are, where they’ve been.
Although men say they don’t like girls that nag too much, there is actually a subconscious psychology behind some men that prove otherwise.
Below we will be looking at why some men create distance between their girlfriends by spending time with their friends, and why they seek that attention and complaining from their girlfriends.
The sense of empowerment
Men love to feel more wanted and empowered. When a girl shows her emotions of desire and worry. It can often satisfy a man. Because most men know and feel like “she’s so in love and dependent on me”
When a man feels like his girl is so in love and dependent on him, he often won’t put any more effort and time into the relationship like before.
What to do?
Asking way too many questions on his whereabouts and what he was doing, would just be feeding him the attention he’s looking for.
It is a natural response when this happens and it is totally normal. But try to fight the urge to not ask him those questions, as well as not showering him with any worry.
Show him how you value yourself and your time. Try to say no to his spontaneous plans with you.
This should definitely put him on the back foot and make him realize the relationship and the possibility of losing you.
Wouldn’t it be so much easier to know what your man really wants? To know his deepest desires and to flip the switch in his heart to make him commit and love you forever. Here I recommend a course on “His Secret Obsession” make sure you check it out
Your boyfriend doesn’t have to be with you all the time.
Don’t Make This Mistake! Most ladies in relationships expect their partner to be with them all the time. Understand, that as a girlfriend you are definitely one of the biggest priorities in his life, but not the end of be all.
Many people get this wrong idea about relationships, that it should be about a man and woman as one entity together forever.
Have in mind, being a priority is different from your boyfriend maintaining his own life and friends.
Is it healthy to not talk to your boyfriend everyday?
It is totally normal for you and your boyfriend to not talk every day. It can actually be healthy for the relationship. That is because distance creates desire. The heart grows fonder when there’s some distance. Being with each other too much could drain the relationship.
But on another note, not talking with your boyfriend on a consistent basis can wither away the relationship.
Who is more important friends or boyfriend?
Sharing everything, being intimate and being with each other most of the time, puts your boyfriend as one of the most important priorities in your life.
Friends are also a priority, they should never be less of a priority when you get into a relationship. But as a girlfriend, there is a certain priority and greater dedication and effort that must be put in a relationship.
Sadly we live in a world, in which we can talk and communicate but we don’t know how to communicate effectively with one other.
Some men, instead of communicating effectively would rather use a more radical approach, by creating distance or not showing much attention to you, in hopes that you’ll somehow understand why he’s doing this.
When your boyfriend spends way too much time with his friends and not you, that means he either doesn’t realize it or that something deeper is going down such as, he doesn’t value you, he doesn’t value your time or he’s lost interest in you.
If you ever feel that your boyfriend is becoming distant and is spending way too much time with his friends, do this one thing:
Make your own plans! Do hobbies go out with friends. If your boyfriend truly wants you, he will make time for you, not the other way round all the time.