Main Reasons Why Your Ex Doesn’t Want To Be Friends Anymore

Reading Time: 4 minutes

This post may contain affiliate links which means I may receive a commission from purchases made through links.

If you have had to end your relationship and are now hesitating whether to remain casual friends with your former partner, you should know that your ex doesn’t want to be friends anymore. In this article, we want to tell you why your ex doesn’t want to be friends of yours and why it is a bad idea to continue a connection with your ex as a friend.

ex doesn't want to be friends
Image credit:

Key reasons exes reject friendship

After breaking up, the most important thing is to understand what happened. However, people want to be in touch with their ex even if they do not talk to them or answer them. To better understand your ex, here we mentioned the main reasons why you face a such thing after the end of emotional connections.

  1. Humans can’t get rid of feelings all at once

People usually stay friends with their ex-partners because they don’t want bad things and face a life where someone they care about no longer wants to be friends anymore.

Most people think that worth staying friends with their ex-partner and being a friend will make things easier for them, but that’s exactly what they’re wrong about.

Naturally, that person doesn’t want to lose someone so significant in life completely, but staying in touch with that person after a breakup and being friends, will make it almost impossible to get over feelings.

Image credit:
  • Avoiding temptations

If there are still unresolved feelings, want to be friends with an ex and continue, it can lead to a temptation to start dating again.

For this possible reason, your ex may feel it’s best to avoid any circumstance that would cause them further trouble or pain and decide to reduce talking and being friends.

  1. Harder emotional recovery

Being a friend with a former romantic partner will make it harder for you or your ex to process and eliminate the feeling of loss and regret.

In other words, as an ex-partner, you’ll likely experience conflicting emotions, making it much more difficult to get over the emotional breakdown.

After an emotional separation, people need time to heal. The good strategy is to forget the ex’s perspective and focus on themselves.

Sometimes after a long run of a relationship breakup, the person can’t have a clear view of things. Whereas if your ex-partner is still present in your life and counts as your friend, everything will be more difficult than it is.

Image credit:
  1. Your ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend may still be in love with you

When a couple ends their relationship, it is usually not a mutual decision. Most of the time, one party remains involved and usually wants the connection to resume.

Usually, one of the parties may hope that the fire of the romantic connection will be rekindled because they still have feelings for the other party.

The chemistry between you is still there, although it may have stopped now. But if you are staying friends, this may give the other person false hope that the relationship will resume.

  • Setting boundaries and self-preservation

Stay close to an ex; being friends can challenge you, especially if romantic sentiments persist. This can cause boundary blurring and conflicting emotions, making it difficult to forge any new relationship.

  1. It may involve you in an on-again, off-again ties

After an emotional breakup, you will always question whether breaking up with your previous partner was right or wrong.

So it is natural if you think that you want to be friends with your ex. Socializing and communicating with your ex-partner will increase your confusion.

The physical attraction that initially drew you to each other will keep you involved in an on-again, off-again relationship.

In such a relationship, the parties usually have a lot of doubts about their desire to stay together. Remember that a separation will never happen if someone wants to be with you.

Image credit:
  • Fear of ambiguity

Friendship with an ex can cause confusion, misunderstandings, and self-doubt. Ex’s wishes could be to choose to maintain the relationship for clarity.

  1. It will hurt to hang out with each other as just friends

No lovers like to see their former serious interest or romantic partner looking for new friends and starting a new relationship.

Suppose you remain still friends with an ex or someone you once had a romantic tie with. In that case, you should prepare for such situations, which will always be painful.

It doesn’t matter how much we don’t accept or respect this fact, it will be painful to see that our previous emotional partner has left everything behind and is looking for a new partner.

It really can break you to see your former love fall in love with someone else, and no matter how hard we try to pretend to be indifferent, this can hurt us to see and remind us that our former romantic partner has a better situation than us.

  • Resentment and hurt

Your ex can be angry with you or the relationship if the split was especially stormy. They might think continuing as friends in such circumstances will amplify unpleasant feelings.

The healthiest action for advancing can occasionally be to let go of the past. Respect their choice and give them space to recover.

Before considering a future friendship, it would be advantageous for both sides to concentrate on their personal development.   

Image credit:
  1. No benefits in casual friendship

There is no real reason ever to remain friends with your ex. There’s no upside to hanging out with someone you’ve decided to end your connection with.

Even if you think continuing the ties as normal friends or even best friends is a sign of maturity, it is better to cut ties of your connections with your ex-partner and go your separate ways.

Continuing the links with your previous emotional friend will eventually cause you to get involved in your unresolved feelings and will need to deal with problems again, and there is a risk that you will suffer once more.

  • Preserving good memories

Some people treasure the memories of their former boyfriend/girlfriend and think that continuing to be friends could compromise those priceless times. They might protect the good memories by deciding not to be friends.

  1. It will prevent the acceptance of new relationships

After the end of an emotional connection, you should give yourself some time to heal and finally return your focus to the world of love.

But hanging out with your former romantic partner will not be of much use to you, and it will be strange for your possible romantic partners.

Imagine explaining to your new partner or current partner that you spend much time with your ex, that now is one of your friends. Your new person will probably think you are not ready for a romantic connection.

Your ties with your previous romantic friend will be seen as a warning sign by your potential romantic partners.

The right lovers may want to be friends or establish a close friendship or an emotional connection with you, but after discovering this relationship, he/she gives up.

Image credit:
  1. Different post-breakup goals

People cope with breakups differently, and their post-breakup goals may vary. While you might be interested in rekindling a friendship, your ex might be looking to start fresh with a clean slate and separate themselves from the emotional interest entirely.

The differing goals might lead to your ex declining the offer of friendship. It is important to respect their decision and give them the space they need to heal.

Remember that everyone’s healing process is unique, and it’s also essential to prioritize your emotional well-being during this time. 

  • Incompatibility as friends

Friendships and romantic partnerships demand different dynamics.

Your ex could be aware that the things that made you two compatible might not work as well for a platonic friendship.

They might think the connection you shared was more appropriate for a boyfriend or girlfriend than a friendship. It is critical to respect their choice and provide the time they require to process their emotions. If you remain friends, it only makes everything worst.

Image credit:


What does it mean if my ex doesn’t want to be friends?

If your ex doesn’t want to be friends with you, they probably need time to heal, set boundaries, or move past the failed relationship. If you stay friends, none of you can recover emotionally.

Is it OK not to want to be friends with your ex?

Yes, it is OK not to want to be friends or stay friends with your ex after break-ups. Choosing what is best for one’s emotional health is a right that belongs to everyone.

Is it immature to not want to be friends with an ex?

No, it is not immature to not want to be friends with an ex. It’s a decision that each individual makes depending on their wants. After a breakup, prioritizing your emotional well-being is critical.

Why you shouldn’t be friends after a breakup?

Staying friends can hinder emotional healing, remind old times, create confusion, and can be possible reasons to prevent both individuals from moving on and establishing a healthy life.


Recognizing that not all relationships can transition smoothly into friendships is crucial. Individuals’ healing processes influence their decision to stay friends with an ex. Respecting their choice and focusing on personal growth can lead to healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Average rating:  
 0 reviews
Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Recent Posts