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Many couples are used to hush up the topic of sexless marriage, ignore it with a partner, and mostly are afraid to open up to their friends.
However, almost all people in long-term relationships have to go through this period.
If you are in a desperate search for solutions to the problem of sex life and constantly ask yourself: “Will my marriage survive? How long is it normal for a person who is in a relationship to live without sex?” – this article is for you.
Why does sex lose its importance in marriage?
What can be called a sexless marriage?
Sexologists claim that such an issue includes spouses who have sexual intercourse with a frequency of 10 times a year or less.
As the study done in 2019 says, 19% of 659 couples have to go through an episode of a sexless relationship.
With age the priorities in a married couple shift from sexual intimacy to other things: children, work, financial stability.
- Lack of emotional connection and conversations. Problems in relationships, lack of understanding, mutual accusations, and resentments lead to the fact that partners eventually feel like strangers.
- Childbirth. Having gone through a difficult and exhausting for every woman experience of childbirth, she needs time to restore her body. Experts recommend a woman abstain from sexual relationship for 4–8 weeks. However, often a woman needs more time to feel sexual desire again.
- Overwhelming and stressful. The stress hormone cortisol deprives a person of the opportunity to feel sexual desire. Daily routine, problems at work, or interpersonal relationships – all lead to a sexless marriage.
- Health restrictions or health problems. Women’s menopause and men’s erection problems often belong here. Many other unpredictable both physical and mental problems can also deprive a couple of sexual stability.
It’s worth mentioning that not all couples find this a problem, and they don’t even consider them having a sexless marriage.
But if your sex life seems dull and doesn’t cause any emotions and your sexual needs aren’t satisfied anymore – you should not turn a blind eye to this problem, and that’s why.
Is it harmful to a man?
Quite often people ask how sexless marriage affects a man.
Statistics say that the reason for sexless marriage may also be the mismatched libido of partners: often men’s sexual needs exceed the women’s.
Sexual satisfaction is an important thing for every husband, so here is a list of sexless marriage effects on men.
- Self-esteem problems
The deepest sexless marriage effect on husband begins in his mind. When a man sees that a woman does not want him sexually, he begins to question his appearance, physical form, and himself as a person.
Such thoughts lead to self-insecurity and constant doubts.
Gradually, a man’s self-esteem begins to fall and he no longer fully realizes his value.
- Shame and feeling less like a man
Since ancient times, a man has been perceived as a continuation of the family.
This understanding was embedded in his genes and instilled in him from an early age. That’s why they attach great importance to sexual intimacy.
Being in a sexless relationship, a man realizes that this is no longer seen in him, and a sense of shame hits his manhood.
- Poor mental health
When a relationship lacks intimacy and good sex life, men begin to close in themselves.
As a rule, in sexless marriages, they feel lonely and isolated.
According to scientists, hormones obtained during sex can muffle negative emotions and stress received from external stimuli.
Without receiving these hormones in the right amount, a man becomes more susceptible to various mental health problems and disorders, such as social anxiety and depression.
- Physical health problems
It’s said that sex is good for health in many ways, especially for the cardiovascular system.
The prostate and bladder are the organs on the condition and health that sex has a direct impact. With prolonged abstinence, a man may face such a nuisance as a decrease in prostate secretion.
In addition to this, stagnation and inflammatory conditions in the prostate gland may also happen. This can cause acute or chronic prostatitis, which can later cause prostate adenoma.
Sexless marriage affects erectile dysfunction and decreased libido.
Sperm becomes heterogeneous and its motility is significantly reduced.
It may seem strange to many, but the hormonal and immune systems of men also suffer.
The condition of the skin, hair, and nails worsens, and excess weight appears. The male body becomes more susceptible to viruses and flu.
As we can see, sexual intimacy is necessary for a man to maintain his physical health.
- Anger issues
Another sexless marriage effect on husband.
Unresolved relationships issues sooner or later will manifest themselves in angry breakdowns. In no-sex marriage, it’s a common thing. And such a pattern as “silencing and storing anger in yourself – splashing it out on others” will turn into a vicious circle.
This will bring pain both to the offended partner and subsequently the man himself will suffer from feelings of guilt and shame for his breakdown.
- Drifting apart
Unfortunately, this sexless marriage effect on husband is instantly and painfully noticed by a woman.
One of the biggest fears of all married people is to turn into roommates who satisfy only their economic and household needs. And unfortunately, sexless marriage contributes to poor communication.
Partners in a romantic relationship are usually interested in pleasing each other: arranging a romantic date, taking a trip together, or discussing joint plans for the future to strengthen their emotional intimacy.
The absence of these in sexless marriages leads to the feeling of the absence of a partner in each other’s lives.
- Divorce and affair thoughts
The data claim that in 70% of cases, couples filing for divorce mentioned the lack of sexual life as one of the crucial relationship problems.
In the early stages of a relationship, all couples go through a so-called honeymoon and enjoy each other’s closeness every day.
But not everyone understands that this cannot always continue this way.
A healthy sex life doesn’t require everyday physical intimacy.
Many couples are disappointed when they realize that they do not have the same sex drive as before – the principal sexless marriage effect.
And in this case, involuntarily, thoughts begin to creep into my head that their sexual needs will be met way too better with another person.
The sexless marriage effect manifests itself in a big number of cheating cases.
Can a sexless marriage survive?
Yes, it can.
But you need to take into account that this alignment of events should satisfy both partners.
If this is not the case, the conflict will still manifest itself anyway, which will require either a solution or breaking up the relationship.
To leave or to save the relationship?
The lack of physical intimacy should not be a key reason for breaking up a relationship.
But you should not ignore the problem, you need to solve it.
- Add romance to your relationship. Go on a date, start with hugs and kisses. Try to relieve everyday life by telling each other as many compliments as possible during the day.
- Be sure to talk. It is impossible to build a connection with a person by keeping silent. Discuss everything that concerns you, the possible causes of the current situation, and suitable ways to figure everything out. Unresolved relationship issues will never become solved themselves.
- Try to diversify your sex routine with sexting, role-playing games, sex toys, or changing the place. Ignite your sex drive!
- Find professional help such as marriage counselors. Marriage counseling helps many couples to avoid divorce.
What are the effects on a man in a sexless marriage?
Being in a sexless marriage a man may face such problems as physical (decrease in prostate secretion, acute or chronic prostatitis, prostate adenoma, cardiovascular, immune, and hormonal system problems, erectile dysfunction, decreased libido) and mental health problems (anxiety, anger issues, depression, low self-esteem).
Here is also one more sexless marriage effect on a man’s mind: it leads to cheating thoughts and appearance.
Can a man survive a sexless marriage?
A man can survive a sexless marriage as long as it’s a negotiated or non-negotiated agreement or a mutually satisfactory compromise with his partner.
In such a situation, if the lack of sexual connection does not suit one of the parties, the search for solutions to problems is inevitable.
When should you walk away from a sexless marriage?
If the partner refuses to solve this problem together, or the spouses have too many differences in sexual preferences, or you both have tried all possible options for saving the relationship, including the help of a marriage counselor, then this is already food for thoughts.
What should you keep in mind?
It’s not a rarity for married couples to lose interest in sex.
Now you know the possible causes and consequences for the body and condition of a man.
If you are in such a marriage, then try never to forget:
1. Sex is necessary to maintain a relationship, especially if you and your partner have been together for a long time.
2. If you don’t work out the problem, it won’t go anywhere. And this will lead to the end.
3. Communication is the key to success!
4. Cheating is never an option.
Hey guys! my name is Farid Babajan and I’m the co-founder of relationshipwhatsup.com. Around 5 years ago I came out of a relationship which I wasn’t too happy about. Afterward, I decided to start kicking ass in life and in relationships. Getting to understand people around me better as well as myself. This has allowed me to share with you all my knowledge on Love, Romance as well as complications and problems in relationships.