The first months of a relationship are wonderful. Till he meets your family and starts rambling off and insulting how much he hates them. It is a very unpleasant situation to be in, so in this article, I’m going to help you clear your mind on what you can do next when your boyfriend insults your family.
So let’s get to the main question on what to do when my boyfriend insults my family?
It is completely normal and fine for your boyfriend to not get along with your family, but what is not normal is when he starts disrespecting your family. Tell him that “it’s fine if you don’t get along with them but you need to show them some respect”. And if your boyfriend truly cares for you he would try to be kinder to your parents
Respect is very important when it comes to your spouse’s family or friends. Continue on reading as we’ll go deeper on what you can do if your boyfriend keeps insulting your family
What To Do When Your Boyfriend Insults Your Family.
Relationships always start off so well. Till the point comes where you start meeting his friends and family and he starts meeting your friends and family. Eventually, there could always be a chance where one of you may not get along with each other’s loved ones.
And this shows someone’s true character in the relationship. Why do I say a true character in the relationship? Being in a relationship with someone whom you’re so in love with causes you to develop stronger emotions of insecurity, trust issues, and attachments.
In a relationship, we can get carried away by certain things or people in our partner’s lives, but a true understanding person would show respect and communicate the hate and jealousy some other way rather than insulting or causing embarrassment to the other partner.
So if you find your partner to be disrespecting your family and embarrassing you, I have a couple of things to share, continue on reading.
If you want to know if you’re in a toxic relationship I suggest you read this article. Helpful tips included as well
Be Direct and Straightforward.
Be direct and straightforward with your boyfriend. He might really hurt your feelings when he insults your family, but you should never let out your anger or try to get offensive with him because that’s just going to create some bigger problems.
Try to just find the timing and tell him that you don’t like it when he acts in a bad way towards your family.
Use words like respect and disrespect.
Put yourself in his shoes and tell him that you understand that he doesn’t like your family, but he’s got to at least respect them. Say something like this: “You don’t need to get along with my family, but show them some respect at least, because of me”.
It All Comes Down To Respect
“It is something complelty ordinary for him to not like or get along with your family. But if he’s direspecting your family, it’s a clear red flag because your family is your own flesh and blood.
If your boyfriend truly cares for you, he should try harder to be kind and respect your parents, because they are a big part of your life whether he likes it or not.
Knowing Your Boundaries
What I would always want to remember is that you might not be able to control what someone says or what they do. What you have to ask yourself is:
- Why are you putting up with what he says or does?
- What your boundaries are?
When he insults your family, it’s not just them he’s putting down, he’s disrespecting and putting you down as well.
Below I’m going to be mentioning the 3 different chances and how you should approach and talk to him when he still continues to disrespect your family
The 3 Chances You Can Give Your Boyfriend
- If he insults your family once, you can tell him off in a very casual or calm manner
- If he insults your family for the second time, be more firm and more serious with him
- He insults your family for the third time you have to make a serious decision on where this relationship is headed.
“When your boyfriend hits strike 3 you’ve got to really consider what your boundaries and self worth are in the relationship”.
The 3 Things You Can Do When He Hits Strike 3
- You can stay in the relationship and put up with him.
- Comfront your boyfriend and tell him off. (“This relationship isn’t going to work if you keep acting this way”)
- Leave without saying a word. Because what else is there to say to him now.
There are many options, but I’m not here to tell you what you should do. It all comes down to you
Are you ok with how he is treating you, and your family?
These are some big questions that no one can answer but you.
Transactional vs Real Relationship. Does anything remind you of what your boyfriend does or acts? Learn more about the bottom picture with this link
Although I have not experienced my partner insulting my parents I have experienced her disrespecting my best friend. From experience, I can say how much it freaking sucks.
It’s like you’re stuck in this dilemma on what you should do, and who’s side you should take. Eventually, it may turn out so bad that both your family or your spouse may hate you.
Never sell out your family for your boyfriend. Sometimes what I’ve realized is that your lover can turn you against the people closest to you, people you’ve known for more than 20 years.
Never turn your back on the people closest to you. Especially when it is your family. If your boyfriend can’t respect your family then you have to make some major decisions on where this relationship is headed.