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Talking about your boyfriend’s blast from the past can be a big deal for him, It can be one of the most unpleasant things for him to talk about. But being in a relationship, we would at least expect some insight into each other’s pasts. So why is it a big deal for him? Why does your boyfriend get mad when you talk about his ex?
Let’s find out below the 4 reasons on “why my boyfriend gets mad when I talk about his Ex”
- He is trying to move on
- You are his first relationship
- He hasn’t gotten over his Ex
- Hidden secrets from his past relationship
Just because he’s your partner, does not mean he has to share everything with you. Talking to your boyfriend about his Ex is a touchy subject to get into. But sometimes silence can speak louder than words. Below we go over more on each reason, as well as the risk his ex-girlfriend poses to your relationship.
4 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Gets Mad When You Talk About His Ex.
Bringing up your boyfriend’s Ex isn’t the most comfortable piece of conversation to get into. You might feel that there is no harm in talking about something which happened in the past. Although For many people, it is a touchy and complicated discussion to get into.
In my opinion, there is no need to know my girlfriend’s past lover(s). But some couples prefer to talk about each other’s past in order to move forward with each other. In my experience and observations, I have picked up 4 reasons why your boyfriend doesn’t like to talk about his Ex with you.
1) He’s Trying To Move On
Sometimes it is better to leave the past in the past and move on. For him to talk about his Ex doesn’t do anything for the relationship. His thoughts are: “You are my thought, my present, and future, and you are all that matters”
For many people, it can take years to completely get rid of the thought of their Ex. In order to completely move on, you must erase any traces of their existence. Such as not hearing their name seeing their pictures and so on.
So when your boyfriend gets mad when you talk about his ex it’s because your boyfriend is trying to move on from his last relationship and leave it behind. Unknowingly, you are the one actually reminding him about it, and possibly pushing him back to those memories.
2) You’re His First Relationship
This may be a surprising reason but some guys will act like they had been in a relationship before. So when you are bringing up the discussion on his ex, he’ll just shrug it off.
This person has a very large ego and he just can’t accept that he was single till he met you. He’ll even say a few things about his made-up ‘Ex’ in order to keep you curious about who exactly this person was.
Why would your boyfriend make up that he had an Ex?
- Status: Guys like to brag about the women they have slept with to their pals. Even though you are not his pal, a guy will try to keep his self esteem and ego boost up, by believing that he had someone before you.
- Fear of being seen as weak: Guys will make believe and act like they were in a relationship in order to avoid being seen as desperate and weak. Guys fear that their girlfriends will think that they got lucky to find her.
3) He Hasn’t Gotten Over His Ex
Did you know it can take anywhere from six weeks to three months to forever, depending on how intense the relationship was, how invested you were in each other, and how heartbroken you are,” says Jane Greer, PhD
The difference between number 1 on the list and this one, is that he is still thinking about his Ex and how things could’ve ended up between them.
Not all relationships end up in big fights and catastrophic breakups. Couples often break up due to reasons such as distance, families, too much time spent with each other that prevent them from dating any longer.
Ending a relationship where you had high hopes of being with another is a tough breakup to go through.
And it can be nearly as impossible to spot. But there are some things that I will mention down below which may be of some help to you.
How to tell that your boyfriend isn’t over his Ex?
- He still keep photos of their Ex.
- Brings up their Ex In conversations out of nowhere.
- They will make the effort to reach out on their Ex’s birthday.
- They won’t commit fully to you.
4) He Has Hidden Secrets From His Past Relationship
When someone is hiding something, they tend to clam up and quickly change the subject, or they may keep the conversation about the topic very general, avoiding mentioning any specific names or places.
Don’t worry about your partner keeping secrets in order to hurt you. People often keep secrets out of shame and embarrassment.
Truth be told, in certain relationships, we have had our ups and downs and our worst situations in them. But we grow up and move on and do better.
Sure, maybe he might have had some dirty little secrets in the closet from his last relationship. But who cares. He is with you now, it is a new beginning. Consider how he treating you and how much in love you are with him.
If your boyfriend is a caring and romantic guy that always wants the best for you then you shouldn’t have to worry about anything.
If you feel that you are in a toxic or unhealthy relationship, I recommend you read this article for a full detailed explanation
Should You Worry About His Ex Girlfriend?
Jealousy, dwelling on the lover that came before us in our partner’s life can cause insecurity and doubt to creep into our relationships, and to make us question the whole relationship and our values in it.
We can feel worthless and rejected by the thought that we don’t stack up to our partners Ex.
That’s where seeking questions and validation from your boyfriend seeps in.
Below, I will be going over four reasons why you shouldn’t worry about his Ex-girlfriend and three reasons why you should worry.
|Why You Shouldn’t Worry About His Ex-Girlfriend
|He doesn’t compare you to his Ex. (Ever)
|Comparison is the number one red flag. If he doesn’t give any hints about you and his ex, or how you two differ, and why he likes you moreover his Ex is a pretty good sign.
|Everyone has got a past
|It may sound like a fairy tale to have two couples just made for one another without any previous lovers. That’s not how it works in the real world though. We’ve all had previous lovers. So you shouldn’t freak out.
|They broke up and ended it
|Breakups happen. And after a relationship ends we try to move on to bettering ourselves and finding love again. Why would you focus on something which is meant for the past?
|He shows you his loyalty and love throughout the day
|Does he shower you with kisses? Does he not compliment you and show you in a thousand different ways how much he loves you? If so, then you better get rid of seeking questions from his past.
|Why You Should Worry About His Ex-Girlfriend
|Being too involved in exes life.
|Asking friends and relatives, about the whereabouts and current situations of his Ex is a clear red flag. If there is still a connection being maintained, that means that he still has some feelings that are left for her.
|He compares you to her.
|From cooking, dressing, personality. Whatever it is, the comparison is a sign of hidden admiration and love for someone. Even if is something such as him comparing how much better you are than his Ex. That is a clear No, No.
|Hesitant to commit.
|A lack of commitment is a sign that your boyfriend is carrying the emotional baggage of his previous relationship, and is waiting to see if there is still a chance with his Ex.
Talking to your boyfriend about his Ex isn’t the missing piece of the puzzle in your relationship. So consider why you are trying to know his Ex-lover(s).
If you are constantly thinking about his Ex lover, you are dealing with insecurity and jealousy in your relationship with your boyfriend.
There will always be some jealousy and worry when you are in a relationship, but it shouldn’t be this toxic way of overthinking and worry.
Below I will mention ways that you can get rid of your jealousy about your boyfriend’s Ex.
How To Get Rid Of The Jelousy About Your Boyfriends Ex.
1. Social Media Detox
Social media has become a source of constant feeds of happy and rich people. We can sometimes get incautiously jealous by seeing so many happy and successful people.
Stalking comments or followers of your boyfriend doesn’t make things a whole lot easier as well, your mind could get into this constant loop of creating fake scenarios on what these comments and likes really mean on your boyfriend’s posts and stories.
This small jealousy can also translate into your dating life. So make sure to set a goal for yourself to delete or limit your social media usage for some time. Preferably a 31-day aim.
I recommend you to check out this ultra helpful article on How to Do a Social Media Detox The Right Way
2. Boost your self-esteem
Self-esteem is your overall opinion of yourself. Practice eliminating negative thoughts about yourself and meditating, exercising, and bettering your life.
Once you build on yourself, negative thoughts would start to leave your mind.
3. Being Grateful and Present
Get out of bed every morning and practice telling yourself everything you’re happy and grateful for in this life. Being in the moment and realizing everything around you from how you feel is a really important exercise that can help you better your life.
Don’t look at everything that is annoying or stressing you out. Look at everything that is positive in your life.
When was the last time when you looked at what you had and were happy for?
Not everyone is an open person. People get into relationships expecting their lover to share every detail of their life with them. Newsflash, just because he is your partner does not mean you have to share absolutely everything.
To say that my “Boyfriend gets mad when I talk about his Ex” In my opinion, you should just do what he says and not push further on the topic. Don’t let your mind ruin the relationship. When people tend to dig deep into certain issues they find out things in which they wish they never found out.
And if you’re worried if he’s actually fully over his ex, understand that moving on from someone close isn’t easy, it isn’t like switching on and off a light switch.
If you are wondering why your Boyfriend Doesn’t Get Jealous, then I would definitely advise you to check out this article for a full explanation.
Hey guys! my name is Farid Babajan and I’m the co-founder of relationshipwhatsup.com. Around 5 years ago I came out of a relationship which I wasn’t too happy about. Afterward, I decided to start kicking ass in life and in relationships. Getting to understand people around me better as well as myself. This has allowed me to share with you all my knowledge on Love, Romance as well as complications and problems in relationships.