How Can I Stop Being Shy With My Boyfriend? 9 tips to stop being shy

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When you are in a relationship it should be your number one priority to feel comfortable around him. Otherwise, what’s the point of being in a relationship if you can’t open up to him. Do you find it difficult to feel comfortable around your boyfriend or do you either feel awkward or shy around him? In this article, I will help you overcome your shyness with your boyfriend.

So to briefly go over it. How to stop being shy around your boyfriend?

  1. Video call eachother more often.
  2. Get him to talk about himself more.
  3. Go out in more public outings for dates.
  4. Be open about your shyness with him.
  5. Get out of your comfort zone and go to more social events.
  6. Dress up to feel good.
  7. Plan out important conversations ahead of time.
  8. Be spontanous with gifts, plans and suprises.
  9. Don’t rush the new relationship.

Feeling shy and awkward around people and the person you love the most is totally normal. I have dealt with shyness and social awkwardness all my life, and although it is not pleasant it can totally be conquered. Strap in and let’s go on this journey to help you conquer your shyness with your boyfriend.

How Can I Stop Being Shy With My Boyfriend?

Don’t give up hope, it is totally normal to feel shy, many people around the world even myself are dealing with it. As shy individuals, we can be smart and find ways around our obstacles. Below, I have mentioned 9 tips on ways which can help your shyness with your boyfriend.

1) Video Call Each other More Often

Although nothing beats an old-fashioned face-to-face connection, there is something special about video calling each other. Video calling necessitates both of you to just communicate as the distractions of the outside environment are subtracted. It is also beneficial for people who are shy in nature, as it creates more comfort to talk, as well as to express one’s feelings.

Did you know that I got to know my girlfriend through video calls. Every day, for 4 months we would video call. Due to distance, we connected and got to know each other through video calls.

We actually realized that video calling each other every day got us closer to each other emotionally than if we were in person. For one it helped me a lot, as I am a pretty shy person, and through video calls, I was able to express myself more freely and confidently. And when I met her all the shyness was eliminated.

Don’t limit your time spent communicating with your boyfriend to only texting and hanging out. Video calling can transform your emotional connection in the relationship”.

2) Get Him To Talk About Himself More.

Get him to talk about himself as much as possible by asking him questions about himself. It works perfectly for shy individuals like me and you, as you get to say as little as possible and still keep the relationship verbally engaged.

Having someone talk about themselves gives the brain as much pleasure as food or money“.

This tip has been amongst one of the most well-known tricks to make anyone like you. Social skills expert Leil Lowndes recommends repetition. Simply repeat or parrot – the last two or three words your boyfriend said in a sympathetic, questioning voice.

If you want to get to know your boyfriend better, so you would be able to be more open and comfortable around him, try asking him these questions:

  • What was your most embarrasing moment?
  • What’s your idea of a perfect date?
  • When was the first time you drank alcohol or do you ever plan on drinking alcohol?
  • What is the first thing you noticed about me?
  • What do you remember about falling in love with me?

3) Go Out In More Public Outings For Dates

The dynamics between being an introvert and an extrovert are different but it can also be the best of both worlds. compromising is key. For example, going to the cinema, then going somewhere more extrovert friendly. That way you will both get what you want.

The ball is in your court. Tell him what you like mainly doing and what you hate doing. A guy will always choose what his lady likes doing because he wants to impress you. Therefore pick the places which you are most comfortable.

Furthermore, Ph.D. and relationship coach Susan Galcic says that the conversation on, “where to go” requires a conversation between the two of you, as to what places fuel you both.

Below I have included a couple of public outings, that are super comfortable date ideas for you and your boyfriend.

1. Movies/Cinema

A movie date is good for introverts due to its side-to-side element and less social pressure environment.

Go watch a comedy or a rom-com movie. Try to avoid watching something gory, like a full-on romantic movie.

2. Bookstore

The good thing about a bookstore is that it allows you to skip those uncomfortable small talks, instead it allows you to enjoy and connect to those deeper topics.

I suggest you ask your boyfriend to point out his favorite book, and from that you can build many more conversational topics. Also, try visiting a bookstore one preferably with a coffee shop.

3. Zoo

Who doesn’t like looking at animals and having a bit of a laugh, as we stare and crack fun at them. It is fun and exciting, as it allows you and your boyfriend to pay attention to the animals in front of you while exchanging views on which animal is the strongest.

4. Small live music event.

While music festivals and bigger events may definitely be for people that are more extroverted. Going to live music in a smaller venue, where you have more space is a perfect date.

I suggest going to a live acoustic music venue and plus going on such a date still gives you the opportunity for conversation in between the breaks of each song.

5. Go to the beach or resort town.

It’s in the public, the beach is big and the weather is very refreshing. But besides that, did you know that going to the beach can actually increase the senses of closeness and sexual attraction between you and your boyfriend.

What do we wear when we go swimming? Right we wear swim clothes. The more of our body we expose in front of the person we love creates this subconscious closeness and physical attraction.

4) Be Open About Your Shyness With Him

Be straight-up honest about how you feel. Just put it there, and let him know: “Hey I’m feeling kind of shy but I want you to know that I care about you”. By being open about how you feel, your partner will stress less cause they know where you stand, and it will also allow him to open up more with you.

Many relationship experts, as well as myself, keep stressing about how important communication is in a relationship.

“Sufficient Communication Can Make a Relationship and a Lack Of Communication Can Break a Relationship”

If you are a shy person in nature and may have trouble expressing your emotions to your boyfriend then it is better to tell him the way you feel. The last thing you would want is to make your boyfriend overthink that your shyness and quietness is a lack of love and interest in him.

5) Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone and Go To More Social Events

Don’t allow your anxiety and shyness to consume you. I’ve dealt with extreme levels of anxiety and shyness, and after watching a ton of motivational videos on Youtube, I finally said that I’ll be a “YES MAN” – when it comes to social plans.

I interacted with as many people and girls as possible. I kept challenging my comfort zone every day, which eventually destroyed my anxiety and shyness when I was around people.

“From my personal experience. I believe that fear and shyness comes from a lack of that specific activity you fear. Once you break that chain and experience it, your body will get used to it and it won’t fill your body up with fear anymore”.

6) Dress Up To Feel Good

If we change the way we dress, the way we feel will also change. If we dress well and look good it will automatically make us feel better. When we feel good on the outside, we are more likely to feel good in the inside.

I believe all of us have at least tried putting on our best outfits in our rooms, without actual plans to go outside. It creates this sense of energy and well-being. Many studies have actually proven that dressing up can make us happy hence making us more confident.

Remember that self-confidence is like a mental muscle. Everyone is born with it, but not everyone flexes it. Just like a muscle, you would need to exercise it, in order to make it stronger and grow it.

Read here on 8 amazing tips on how to make your boyfriend instantly compliment your picture. Which could be a great solution to let your guy get closer to you.

7) Plan Out Important Conversations Ahead Of Time

Have you ever had that very nerve-racking presentation come up or that interview? Well, have you practiced it over and over again in your head like it’s happening in real life.

It’s actually a very common thing, that many people do to overcome their stresses and anxieties.

So, if you feel that you want to go over some important conversations or topics that you want to bring up with your boyfriend, try to do it because it will boost your confidence and prepare you on some topics you would want to bring up when you are with him.

8) Be Spontaneous With Gifts, Plans, and Surprises

Spontaneity keeps the relationship fun and fresh. Ways you can be spontaneous can be as simple as calling him right out the bloom instead of texting. Being spontaneous is about doing something which he is not used to.

If you have trouble expressing your emotions or telling your boyfriend about how much you love him. The best thing I have found to do is to express your love through gifts and surprises.

Below I’m going to give you ideas on affordable gifts you can give to your boyfriend as well as how you can show your love by being spontaneous: He Is Going To Love This!

  • A jar filled with knotted love letter.
  • Very simple and romantic. Write everything you are grateful for in the relationship.
  • Print a couple of memorable pictures and stick them on a black paper
  • Write a couple sentences about how he makes you so happy.
  • It can be as simple as just writing about the things that you love about him
  • All of these are Simple to do! But you will melt his heart and make him so happy

9) Dont Rush The New Relationship

There’s is nothing worse and toxic than listening to people’s opinions about how the relationship is going and how it should go. When you get into a new relationship, you are going to have people tell you things about the pace of your relationship and why you are taking things slow.

Everyone’s timings are all different when it comes to progressing to the different stages in the relationship. Don’t give up hope if you are not head over heels in love with him yet.

Give it time. Spend time with each other and enjoy every single second with him.

“Coming from personal experience, love can hit you in the most unpredictable moments”

Why Am I Awkward Around My Boyfriend?

Being awkward around people of the opposite sex is completely normal. The best thing you can do is to find out the reasons that are contributing to your awkwardness. It might actually be something that your boyfriend might not even care about much. So let’s take a look at the reasons why you might be so awkward around your boyfriend.

  1. You havn’t been in too many relationships.
  2. You’ve been in relationships which havn’t lasted a long period of time.
  3. You are very self conscious on either your physical apperance or personality.

A lack of experience in something can present your mind with challenges on what to do or what to expect. Hence you are probably shy around your boyfriend because you likely haven’t been in too many relationships. Or if you have, you haven’t been in too many relationships that lasted a long period of time.

Another reason you may be shy around your boyfriend may be that you have certain things about you, that you are not too comfortable with.

You may have certain things about you, that are not the most ‘fantastic’ things to show off. This could either be a physical part of you or it could be a part of your personality that you feel is not particularly a part you want to show off.

This might be because you would feel too vulnerable and might get judged by him.

Does your boyfriend get mad at you when you are not in the mood to get it on in the bedroom? Find out here why and what to do.


Remember, when you are in a relationship your number one priority should be to feel comfortable around your boyfriend. But don’t worry if you feel shy around him, it’s totally normal. So make sure you apply and understand everything that was covered above in order to stop being shy around your boyfriend.

Must take steps in order to not feel shy around your boyfriend

1) The most important thing you must cover when you can’t figure out the reasons you are shy around your boyfriend is to figure out why you are shy around him.

As mentioned above the reasons could be that you haven’t been in a relationship before, you were in short-term relationships or you are insecure about your physical appearance or personality.

2) There are a total of 9 points which you can apply to get over your shyness with your boyfriend. But to sum everything up in a sentence; “You can still be shy and seem like the most outgoing and amazing person ever. By making him talk about himself, dressing spectacularly, and getting him spontaneous gifts.

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