This post may contain affiliate links which means I may receive a commission from purchases made through links.
He comes and tells you how much he loves you, but he won’t marry you, instead, he just wants a baby with you. The logic doesn’t seem right. How can man want to commit without wanting to commit? In this article we are going to be looking at why a man would want a baby without marrying you.
Having a baby is a greater commitment than a marriage, but when a man avoids marriage with you, he is basically trying to avoid getting legal obligations and being truely committed to you.
Therefore you really have to watch out on what kind of man he is and what his true intentions are. Rest assured I have got you covered. Here you will learn, why a man would want a baby without marriage and tips on how to avoid toxic men that just want to lead you on.
Why Would a Man Want a Baby But Not Marriage?
Some men will get you pregnant on purpose in order to keep you in their lives. They have no intention of marrying you, giving you what you need, or truly loving you the way you deserve, but they want to maintain an attachment to you.
There used to be this belief and moment in time when a lot of women would attempt to tie a guy down by having a baby with him, either because they wanted him for his money, status, or personality.
Now however it appears that the roles have been flipped, and no one is talking about how men are trying to tie women down by having a baby with them. It is getting more like that in this day and age, and we see many examples of it.
For Example, I’ve heard about this man who was approximately 28 years old and had four children with four different women, he was broke and in a bad financial condition. He never actually stated that he had babies with these women because he wanted these women in his life.
but it does come down to that. I mean, what else could it that a man who doesn’t have much of a professional job, much of a life, and is with four different women, each with four separate children.
He has created an environment where these women have to be in his life one way or another, and they love him, feed him and take care of him financially.
What this father is actually doing is marking his territory by urinating on the pavement like a dog, except instead of peeing, he is having a baby with you.
People don’t realize that having a baby is much more than marriage when you end a marriage they are gone, it’s finished bye-bye. But when you have a baby that baby is there, it’s not like when the baby reaches 18 years old and he’s off to do his own thing.
“Men avoid marriages to avoid responsibility and legal obligations. By making you his baby momma he can tie you down even harder, he can leave you as a single mother with a child while he still has you attatched and still in his life”.
So there is a group of males that are aware of this dynamic and take advantage of it.
It may come as a surprise to many women, and it will catch them off guard, but they will ask, “What can I do about this?” and “How can I know that man isn’t going to use me like this?”
Warning Signs That He’s Taking Advantage By Getting You Pregnant
Warning Number 1:
He asks you to have his baby before marrying you. If a man is serious about being in your life and pouring love and care into your needs, he will be willing to discuss marriage and a long-term commitment.
When a man can’t even talk about marriage but insists on having your baby, you should run for the hills.
Warning Number 2:
Do you really know him? If he’s mentioned that he has a baby momma then you have to make sure you understand every detail about her and their child. Such as what happened between them? How did they break up?
A lot of these men have a pattern of behavior; they don’t use the “Trap baby method” just once; they use it multiple times because they don’t take having a child seriously.
These men view having a baby as a commodity. If he’s having a baby with several women without even being engaged to these women, then he is a serial trap artist, he makes a living doing this.
Warning Number 3:
He is not a good father. Being a dad is one thing, but is he a good father? Is he involved in the child’s life? Does he care about the child? Having a child does not make you a father.
If he has a kid or kids then ask yourself and examine how he is with them. Is he the type of guy who just has kids but doesn’t seem like a father at all?
These little pieces can come together to tell you what type of person he truly is and can be with you.
Warning Number 4:
‘He accidentally climaxes in you’ or has sex without a condom. There is no truth when a guy accidentally climaxes in you. All guys get a 5-second headstart on when they are going to climax. So if he reaches an orgasm in you, then know that there was an agenda behind it.
Having sex without a condom is the best thing ever. I do it rarely because I know of the dangers of getting her pregnant. So you really have to see how often is he having sex without a condom. If he is doing it beyond the amount of normal, then he might be up to something.
So now that I’ve given you some warning flags, allow me to give you some advice on how to deal with a man like him.
I highly advise you to check out this article to learn more about toxic men and if you are in an unhealthy relationship.
What Do You Do When a Guy Wants a Baby and You Don’t?
Tip Number 1:
When he mentions having a baby with you, bring up your future. So, if he mentions placing a baby in you, you have every right to question him, “Where are you trying to go with this?” Are you attempting to get married? What do you want out of this relationship?
Just observe how quickly he dodges dances and deflects from these questions. It will show you if he’s just trying to trap you with a baby or not.
If he is serious about you, at the very least, he’ll be able to have an adult conversation with you about the future and his plans with you.
Tip Number 2:
Get in touch with your intuition and how you really feel about it. You may feel great at the moment when you’re talking to the guy and he’s giving you all these compliments and gifts and telling you how much he loves you.
But you really need to get in touch with your intuition and decide if this is the man for you. A relationship is one thing, but marriage and having a child are quite another.
Question yourself, is he the right man for you? Have you noticed any irregularities in his behavior. Because if he is a toxic person, things might quickly spiral out of control and he could make a bad situation even worse.
I’m sure everyone says all babies are blessings, but not every situation that a baby is born into is a blessing.
Don’t let the child be born into this dysfunctional toxic relationship because you didn’t do your due diligence and think about who this man is and what his real and true intentions are.
Always be cautious while dating and in relationships since some of these individuals are creepy and may cause severe harm in your life.
Why Is It Important To Be Married Before Having a Baby?
It’s mostly an Economic problem. When you have a baby, chances are that you’re home with the kids and you’ve given up your career and don’t go to work. And he’s got the money he’s the one supporting. Suppose now you break up, you have no legal recourse, and if he were to die you wouldn’t own anything he owns nor any money he had saved up.
The pressure to marry used to be a big deal. And it was looked down upon in society when an unmarried couple would have kids. But the pressures of society seem to be drifting apart and it is becoming more a part of the norm to not get married and have babies.
Did you know that 40 percent of children had spent some time living with parents who were cohabiting. In other words, cohabitation has become a central part of the family landscape for both children and adults.
But having a baby without marriage can definitely present some dangerous obstacles.
So let’s look deeper into the statistics, facts, and dangers of having a baby before getting married.
- Children raised in stable homes are healthier, better educated, and more likely to avoid poverty than children reared in unstable households
- Parents who have a baby together are less likely to stay together than married couples. In fact, compared to one-quarter of married parents, two-thirds of cohabiting parents divorce before their kid reaches the age of 12
- Family stability is a major contributor to children’s healthy development. A fundamental distinction between cohabiting and marital unions is the duration or stability of the relationship.
Why Is Marriage Important and What Is The Purpose Of It
To understand the importance of marriage and its purpose of it, we first take a look at where marriage originated from.
Survival was difficult between 1.8 billion and 220 thousand years ago. The offsprings who were able to reach adulthood were those who had two parents that worked together to raise and protect them. These survival strategies led to the first marriages. A few hundred years ago during the medieval period, marriage became more of a power play, and it became a tool to strengthen alliances and maintain power and wealth between families.
However, many of us in the twentieth century are living in a life of abundance; we do not need to protect ourselves from sabertooths; we do not need to be religiously strict and our parents aren’t forcing us to form alliances with other families because of power.
So why are we still getting married? We do not need marriage to ensure the survival of our species. That is why many Millennials are discovering this. And the rate of people getting married is dropping by 5% each year. Marriage now seems outdated.
So what are the benefits of getting married in today’s society?
The Benefits Of Getting Married
Marriage is defined as a pledge to be together in sickness and in health. It is the ultimate gesture of commitment and love. But there are several legal, financial, social, and health benefits to marrying.
- Pay fewer taxes: In the perspective of the government, a married couple is treated as a single taxable unit. As a result, you’ll save money on taxes
- Right to inherit your spouses property and money
- Social security, Medicare, and disability benefits for your spouse are all subsidized by the government.
Check out this amazing YouTube Video on marriage and its Pros and Cons
How Long Should You Be Married Before Having a Baby?
It was a popular cultural belief in the world. That as soon as a couple would get married, it was only reasonable to assume for women to have a baby right away. Babies made a family hole. It was what women have been doing for the longest time.
Did you know:
- A childless women was frowned upon and should be divorced in Ancient Rome if she didn’t bear a child
- 1000 years ago in China, not having a child was ground for divorce
- In the middle ages, infertile women were called withces.
Motherhood was an obligation for all women. But it isn’t anymore. Welcome to 2021, where women are opting to not have a baby. Women are more empowered these days, working, and even supporting a whole family. They have become more than just a reproductive machine.
Having a baby these days is the norm. Marriage is the idea of family and commitment, without a baby the idea of a family doesn’t resonate as much.
There is no fixed time or age you should have a baby. “But experts say the best time to get pregnant is between your late 20s and early 30s. This age range is associated with the best outcomes for both you and your baby. One study pinpointed the ideal age to give birth to a first child as 30.5″
Advice On When You Should Decide To Have a Baby
- Be married before having a baby
- Be with your husband for at least 3 years before deciding if you want to have a baby with him.
- Consider everthing about your husband. His love, commitemnt and parts in the marriage which are red flags.
- Is your husband capable of taking care of the baby too and caring for it?
- Be financially set. You don’t want to bring your baby into a life of poverty and struggle. Make sure you can easily support yourselves and the baby
- Ready for a Baby? Ask Yourself These Money Questions
Conclusion
Having a baby is not a walk in a park and it is not something to be taken lightly. You are bringing a baby into this life. It is your duty and obligation to make sure you raise him or her in a healthy and supportive environment.
In the year 2020, there were 15,491 single mothers. 1,000 more than the year before.
Why should there be single mothers? Why should a baby have to grow up in an environment of suffering and no father?
Many women get into toxic relationships and marriages. They get sucked in by the guy’s charm and words and they get tied down to him because they decide to get a baby with him without marrying him.
If a man wants to have a baby with you, without getting married, your only response should be “NO”
A child bears more responsibility and commitment. If your boyfriend wants to commit that much, then why does it have to be so hard for him to get married and to fully commit to you too?
If your man keeps changing his mind on whether he want to marry you or not, then you have to check out this article
Hey guys! my name is Farid Babajan and I’m the co-founder of relationshipwhatsup.com. Around 5 years ago I came out of a relationship which I wasn’t too happy about. Afterward, I decided to start kicking ass in life and in relationships. Getting to understand people around me better as well as myself. This has allowed me to share with you all my knowledge on Love, Romance as well as complications and problems in relationships.
