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It’s enough to make your knees weak when you hear another guy’s name from your girlfriend. You might be overthinking 99 different things, but if you don’t learn how to control your emotions, you could end up losing everything. In this article, you will learn everything regarding when your girlfriend hangs out with guys.
Before digging deeper into this article, let’s first look at this question; is it ok if she hangs out with other guys?
It is better if she just hangs out with a group of her guy friends after school or university two or three times a month. But it doesn’t even matter if it’s once a month if she meets up alone with her guy friends, that isn’t really ok, because it can lead to many scenarios which can blow up in your face. Such as, cheating and losing love for you.
Don’t mess this up! 70% of the people that get into relationships completely lose themselves in it. They suddenly become too emotional and insecure in the relationship. Make sure you read the rest of this article so you don’t just lose your girlfriend but also yourself.
Your girl will not be hanging out with other guys if she was really satisfied in the relationship.
Is It Ok If She Hangs Out With Other Guys
It is not ok for her to hang out with other guys, as 68% of romantic relationships develop from friendships. Your girlfriend may be the nicest person you’ve ever met, but if she keeps on hanging out with her guy friend(s), she’s going to eventually develop a physical and emotional attraction towards her guy friend.
The term “friend” is thrown around too much. Working on a school project with her guy classmates or having a work meeting with a bunch of guys is not considered a friend.
A friend is closer. A friend is someone you usually check up on, someone you share hopes, dreams, issues, and fears with.
It’s shouldn’t mostly be the fact that you shouldn’t trust your girlfriend, but it’s mostly about guys. Guys have many ulterior sexual motives that can worry you.
But don’t go off spying on your girl and pushing her off any guy she makes contact with. That’ll just end up making things worse for your relationship.
We are not living in medieval times, meeting and becoming friends with all genders is just the norm these days.
There is no girl that you can be with, who can ensure you that she’ll never get the attraction to someone else. When you’re in a romantic relationship it is totally normal to develop a physical and emotional attraction towards someone else.
This is the hard and less fun part of a committed and monogamous relationship.
But keep this in mind, such crushes are usually involuntary and sometimes unwanted. Attraction doesn’t always mean you want to have sex.
Attraction is a quality that causes an interest, desire, or gravitation to something or someone. It’s one of the main reasons why we want to keep interacting and continue on hanging out with someone is due to their attraction.
Check this article out on Emotional and platonic love
Can Men and Women Be “Just Friends?”
From a biological standpoint, men and women weren’t made to just be friends. Women would initially get into a friendship with a guy because guys come with less drama in comparison to girls. But however, 99.99% of men come with alternative and sexual intentions towards their female ‘friend’.
It is in our DNAs, our bodies are meant for procreating and reproducing. Bottom line is that eventually, someone will catch feelings.
DID YOU KNOW: That a questionaire was done involving 170 undergraduate students. Women tended to view the relationship as more involved and emotional emphasis on friends. While men tended to view the relationship as casual, with emphasis on sexual benefits.
A man around his women friends is like a bomb ticking and ready to go off. Her guy friend(s) might even say they they are just “friends: but it’s not long till he realizes:
- How good her skin looks
- Her waist to hip ratio
- Her nice curves and breasts
The thing about guys is that they will stick around as much as they can until their female friend gives them the slightest hint. And the rest is left for the pillow talk.
What To Do When Your Girlfriend Hangs Out With Other Guys.
It’s all about how you communicate it to her. Have an abundance approach, not a scarcity approach. Scarcity communication is when you beg her to stay and you show her how worried you are about something going wrong. An abundance approach is telling her your standards and leaving it up to her to make the decision. If she goes, she’s not welcome back to you
You are probably upset because she’s socializing with other guys when you aren’t there, it isn’t cheating but that’s how cheating can get started.
There are really two tips when it comes to doing something about it when your girlfriend hangs out with other guys.
Never try to keep her or change her behavior, when she wants to hang out with guys. These tips are more about testing her behavior towards you. You are basically testing her, she either passes by not hanging out or she fails if she chooses her guy friends over you.
And if she is feeling indifferent towards your feelings and standards, then you’ve won, because you’ll definitely know that she doesn’t care about you, and is going to hurt you even worse in the future.
Tip 1: Ask her that you would like to hang out with her guy friend(s)
Ask your girlfriend that you would like to join in one day with her guy friend(s). Try joining their group once. If she acts sketchy and mad, then you’ll know that she prefers being around the attention of other guys rather than caring about your feelings.
Tip 2: Abundance minset over a scarcity mindset
Let’s take in the example of when she says “hey I’m going to hang out with my guy friend(s)” So what do you do or say when you don’t want her to be around this guy?
Telling her “no don’t go out with him, I’m afraid ill lose you”, is a needy approach because you’re trying to hold her and not let her go.
As opposed to thinking, “this is my standard in the relationship, that hanging out with the opposite sex in the relationship is a no, but do what you want, but just remember that I won’t be here when you come back”.
It is really not ok to let your girlfriend hang out with guys or a guy friend. It’s not a good idea, there are so many scenarios in where it can blow up in your face.
Coming in with the abundance mentality and approach will always make you end up winning.
Say this: “look that’s not cool when your hanging out with your guy friend(s). But you can do whatever you want. But if you’re my girlfriend hanging out with other guys is just off the table”.
- She’ll most likely complain and try to throw you off center and challenge your manly hood.
- Do nothing. Tell her: “Thats all I have to say, it’s your choice”
- Remember it’s really important how you frame yourself when you tell her this. You’re not threatening her your just implying it.
Tip 3: Is she head over heels in love with you?
Besides having standards for her to not hang out with other guys in the relationship, it can be most concerning when she isn’t fully in love with you.
If a girl truly loves you, she’ll avoid doing anything that will hurt the relationship. So ask yourself this, is your girlfriend really head over heels in love with you?
When a girl is head over heels in love with you, she’s going to be calling you constantly, she’s going to be saying things like: “I miss you” “I love you” “I can’t wait to see you” “Hey I’m just calling to see how your day has been going”
The most powerful way you can make your girlfriend go head over heels for you is through Sexual Desire and intimacy.
Has she stopped saying these to you? Is there less intimacy and sex in the bedroom? These are all points of concern
“If she’s nuts about you = 100% commited and faithful to you”
So are you doing everything as her boyfriend to be her best option? In other words are you her knight and shining armor?
So you’ve figured everything about your girlfriend having guy friends. Read here on if you should have female friends
Why Insecurity and Jealousy Is Unattractive In The Relationship?
Being jealous and insecure in the relationship leads to many negative behaviors which can push your girlfriend further away from you. Developing jealousy can cause you to become clingy and needy. Becoming insecure and jealous is the start of the end.
There are some underlying conditions that jealousy and insecurity can cause in the relationship:
1) Making your girlfriend the purpose in your life
It can be something incontrolable when you get in a relationship. All your hormones are shooting in all different directions. Once you thought that you will never get attached to anything or anyone, but now you find yourself constantly thinking about this person.
People label the beginning of the realtionship as the honeymoon phase. This is because you and your lover are experiencing heavy emotions of love and lust. There’s nothing that can separate you, everything is rainbows and fun.
Only after a year of the realtionship, as the honeymoon phase starts to go away, things sometimes start heating up. You either get in conflicts or resent each others lifestyle choices.
It’s at this point where fights and disagreemnet can have major mental pressures on you. You notice your girlfriend hanging out more with her friends, and some of them are guys.
During the honeymoon phase you didn’t make much of it, because you were too in love that you didn’t believe that anything can happen. But now as there are some fights and disagreemnts you are left wondering if she’s possibly lost affection for you, and if she’s going to leave you?
These thoughts are known as insecurity. You hold on for dear life to your girlfriend, you call her “my love and my everything”, there isn’t possibly anything you wouldn’t do without her. You become more sensitive to who she talks to and all your energy is directed to her, you stop working on your goals and dreams.
A women wants to be adored, but she wants to also know that you have a plan for your life and also her life in the future.
Once she senses that you’ve lost your masculinity and your assertiveness, she’ll consider other options.
2) A lack of confidence in your value
As mentioned above, insecurity can crush you and the love the women your dating has for you. Once you become dependent on her and what she’s doing, who she’s talking to? She’s going to notice ofcourse. And she’s going to wonder and question the alpha man you are.
When she sees that man doesn’t exist anymore, she’s going to lose attraction towards you.
Remember: It doesn’t matter if you’ve been in a relationship for one month or 3 years, women are attracted to strength in men. So when your head turns everytime she’s talking to any guys, she’s going to notice and be turnt off by your insecurity.
5 Simple Signs That She Possibly Loves Another Man?
Heartbreaking and crazy to ever imagine that our girlfriend has feelings for another guy, even worse is if she’s talking to him and hanging out with him, without you knowing. That’s why I’m against the whole girls and guys being friends, because it is very likely that either one will develop attraction for the other.
Im going to share with you 6 simple signs that can tell you if your girlfriend likes some other guy.
1) She doesn’t want you to look at her phone
If she hides her phone or angles her phone in a way, so you don’t see what her screen shows, it can be a a very obvious sign that she’s hiding something, or should I say someone.
2) Lack of intimacy
Is she pulling away when you go touch her or when you try to initiate physical touch? This is a sign that she’s feeling guilty about what she’s doing with the other guy.
3) Doesn’t take initiative towards you
She doesn’t ask you to hang out anymore or she very rarely does. If you ask her to hangout, she’ll show up, but she wont be the one to tell you “hey where are you?” “Lets go hang out”
4) She’s always busy
She suddenly has a lot of plans when your trying to see her. Her excuses seem to be very vague. She’ll give you answers like: “Im busy”. “I have class” “Im gonna be at work”
5) The way she talks to her guy friend
How does she talk to her guy friend on the phone? Let me take you back to the time to the first few months you used to date her. There were many jokes, a lot of energy and interest when talking and looking at eachother like lovers.
Compare her energy to the other guys she talks to as comparison to this certain guy. Does her energy seem a bit too much, does her eyes light up?
These are very subtle and simple signs that you can very easily catch on to.
Conclusion
You want to let your girlfriend have her freedom and be happy. She may say things like:
- “He’s just a friend”
- “Oh me and John? He’s been my friend since I was 8”
- You are tripping, I only love you and you only”
But, having opposite-sex friends comes at a dilemma. Although it may be hard to say no to your girlfriend about having opposite-sex friends, you must respect your own standards and communicate it to her properly.
Why it’s not a good idea for your girlfriend to have a guy friend.
“The sex part always gets in the way”. Heterosexual people of the opposite sex may claim to be just friends, but count on it, it is imminent for something more to happen.
Movie after movie, show after show, the narrative is always the same. What starts as a friendship end up in the bed
Approach her with the abundance mentality.
Think and say “this is my standard in the relationship, that hanging out with the opposite sex in the relationship is a no, but do what you want, but just remember that I won’t be here when you come back”.
Coming in with the abundance mentality will always make you end up winning. Because even if she decides to meet her guy friends, it’ll show you that she’s not going to be a very considerate and loyal girlfriend in the future as well.
Hey guys! my name is Farid Babajan and I’m the co-founder of relationshipwhatsup.com. Around 5 years ago I came out of a relationship which I wasn’t too happy about. Afterward, I decided to start kicking ass in life and in relationships. Getting to understand people around me better as well as myself. This has allowed me to share with you all my knowledge on Love, Romance as well as complications and problems in relationships.