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Having someone important in your life tell you that the person you love the most isn’t good enough can really be one of the worst feelings in the world. It can feel like their words of negativity can rip through the relationship. But why are dads like this? And how can you deal with your dad not liking your boyfriend?
- Listen to his perspective. He might have a point.
- Spend more time with him. He feels as though you don’t spend as much time with him now that you have a boyfriend.
- Advise your boyfriend on how to act around your dad.
The father-daughter bond is very traditional with the force of history, it has always been the father’s job to protect the daughter until she is ready to be handed off to the protection of another man. A father’s love is something which I nor you know about because we do not have kids of ourselves. But a father’s concern about your boyfriend’s worthiness of you is a big deal to him.
How To Get Your Dad To Accept Your Boyfriend?
1) Try To Listen To His Perspective.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t see eye to eye with your dad, sit down with him and try to truly understand his perspective. It may help you examine the situation in a way that only strengthens your own.
Dads, generally speaking, are way too overprotective of their daughters. And they try to project their worst views on your boyfriend. But there’s something about the things they say.
Your dad might not hate your boyfriend for no reason. My parents have had a 90% success rate in telling me who my bad friends and relationships are were going to be, years before I would realize it myself.
My mum once told me this line after my girlfriend came visiting: “I take out the trash every day and you bring trash back in my house” – Harsh I know.
But she followed it up by saying you’re not in love with love. You’re in love with lust.
Especially during the honeymoon phase where you’re in the deeply infatuated stage, your vision is totally obstructed by your feelings of mad affection and lust.
After a few months later my girlfriend cheated on me and totally shattered my heart.
Important! Now I’m not saying that it’s your dad’s word over who you choose. What I’m trying to say is that consider what your dad means by being negative and unaccepting of your boyfriend.
Sit down for a day and see what your intentions are with your boyfriend as well as what you think his intentions are with you. Is it only sex? Or is he actually an inseparable part of your life, who is willing and showing you that he is willing to do good and be there for you whenever you need him?
2) Spend More Time With Him.
Love is a powerful and addicting thing. Once you fell in love, you probably spent 99% of your time with your new boyfriend. This is going to create a lot of envy and jealousy for your dad. I advise balancing the time you spend with your dad and boyfriend. Don’t completely forget about spending time with your dad.
You are your dad’s little princess, he has raised you and taken care of you all your life. So he is going to have some fear in you becoming a lesser part of his life.
It’s common amongst parents to envy their children’s relationships. I mention this in another article on Why Does My Boyfriend’s Mom Get Jealous Of Me?
3) Advise Your Boyfriend On How To Act Around Your Dad.
Talk with your boyfriend about the small fixes. Such as washing the dishes after having lunch, having a clean hygienic household, or wearing more formal clothing in front of your dad. People grow up in different households, and some small habits in one household can be a big deal in another household.
Dad’s turn into machines programmed to detect any abnormalities in your boyfriend so he can get rid of him. Make sure you update your boyfriend on how to act when he is around your dad.
Tips For Advising Your Boyfriend On How To Act Around Your Dad.
1) Tell me about your dad’s hobbies.
Tell your boyfriend about your dad’s pastimes and interests. Does your dad hold a collection of pipes or does he like handcrafting wood? Tell your boyfriend to show interest and help your dad in any of his interests.
2) What sports team does your dad like?
Inform your boyfriend about your dad’s favorite sports and sports teams. Dads hate an awkward silence, but they hate your boyfriend more, so make sure your boyfriend finds a conversational comfort zone with him.
3) Dress well.
Tell your boyfriend to step up his game when meeting your dad either at your house or outside. He only has 27 seconds to make a good first impression, so make sure he looks awesome!
Share this article to help him dress to impress.
4) Bring a gift.
Receiving gifts is always a delight for everyone. Tell him to get a bottle of wine (cheap wine is fine). And it’s always good to know a thing or two about wine. Check here for interesting facts about wine
5) Calling them Mr. (last name)
Even if your boyfriend is an adult calling your dad Mr.____ shows his good judgment and behavior.
Consider how your boyfriend is treating your family. It could be a massive red flag if your boyfriend insults your family. So make sure you check out this article on what to do.
Conclusion
I think it’s a big mistake that people believe their dads have to approve or even like their boyfriends. When you tell your dad about your new boyfriend, you are not asking him for permission to date him, you’re asking for his blessing. Don’t get those two mixed up.
There were 3 really important and crucial rules that were mentioned above, but out of the three is the most crucial. The first tip is the most important and crucial rule. To summarise the first point:
Don’t get mad and throw a tantrum on your father’s negative views of your boyfriend. Approach him calmly and try to see his perspective. But I don’t just mean listening to him and then forgetting about what he said. But actually consider every point he has made and then decide what you want to make out of it.
It is really important to listen to your father because he is a man, and he see’s things in men, that women rarely see. Dad’s were once young and did things they knew were bad.
Just like how I can tell you about the way some of my girlfriend’s co-workers act around her. Such as their actions, words, and body language towards her. It remind me of how I wanted to sleep with a girl who had a boyfriend.
I was just patiently waiting for a chink or crack in the relationship in order to make my move.
Hey guys! my name is Farid Babajan and I’m the co-founder of relationshipwhatsup.com. Around 5 years ago I came out of a relationship which I wasn’t too happy about. Afterward, I decided to start kicking ass in life and in relationships. Getting to understand people around me better as well as myself. This has allowed me to share with you all my knowledge on Love, Romance as well as complications and problems in relationships.