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It was once seen as taboo to marry someone older than you, but however, things have changed drastically. Girls for example are going for older guys because they are looking for someone mature and someone who knows what they want. But what’s the catch? Should you marry someone older than you?
So, let’s dive right into the question, Is it Ok to marry someone older than you?
Plato’s definition of Soulmates was, “someone in the universe who is your match, one person in creation who completes you beyond the physicality of the human body.” If you are meant to be with someone and if you truly love that person, then don’t mind whatever their age is.
Don’t stop there! Besides the spiritual philosophy on marrying someone older, check out what experts have to say about marrying someone older than you, and the possible dangers of marrying them.
Is It OK To Marry Someone Older Than You
We’ll be discussing people who fall in love and decide to marry someone older than them.
And I’m not talking about a gap of 2-3 years in age. We’ll be looking at a ten-to-twenty-year age gap.
“If you’ve met your soulmate and if there’s a significant age gap, there should be no doubts or thoughts on their age in comparison to yours”
What exactly do we mean when we say “soulmates”? It’s about two souls who were born to be together in this life and in the hereafter. So, when you fall in love with someone and truly believe that you are soul mates then allowing “time” and “age” to force you away from each other is a mistake.
Aside from the spiritual aspect of marriage, you must also think about what you desire and want in life as well.
For example, when an older man, in particular, has a relationship with a much younger woman who wishes to have a child, and he is in his 60s or even older.
He is still capable of having children, but his relationship with his children will be substantially different than if he were younger. His patience is going to be a lot different and less. As a result, topics like having children in a marriage should be discussed more.
When marrying an older man or woman, there are two aspects to consider. There is a spiritual component as well as a more earthly component.
When it comes to marrying someone older than you, the spiritual aspect is far more important. But the worldly considerations are also important.
If you truly want to have a wonderful marriage, keep in mind what marriage is all about: It’s about learning to love unconditionally and experiencing more happiness every day of your marriage. So be with someone that makes you happy no matter the time or age
Age is but a number, however, sometimes it can be dangerous. If you are a 16-year-old dating a 13-year-old or vice versa, then is truly advise you to read this article
The case for dating someone your own age is compelling. Age is but a number but there are a lot more elements to consider than simply your age when deciding if this is the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
There are various philosophies and arguments for why you should continue to date someone your age.
1) You Will Be Able To Bond More With Someone Your Age
Dating someone your age level will allow you to connect more with that person. Because you’re both going through similar things, it’ll make you guys bond even more.
Let’s imagine you’re 24 years old and in college, and the person you want to marry is 30 or 40 years old. The age gap can help you comprehend the amount of maturity that you and that other person bring to the table.
Let’s pretend your current priority in life is hanging out with your pals, doing homework, and attending university. It’s nothing too significant. They, on the other hand, are more concerned with how to pay next month’s rent and who to marry in order to start a family.
Because your maturity levels are so dissimilar, it may be difficult for the two of you to connect. Sure, there’s an attraction, but you’re not on the same wavelength.
2) Power Relationships Can Be a Problem
When there is an age gap in a relationship, one thing to keep in mind is the power dynamic. They are more mature, smarter, and have more experience as a result of their age. And this might play a part in the relationship at times.
You may believe that this will never happen since you are drawn to one another and are soul mates. However, the age gap can really matter.
There comes this power dynamic which can at times make the relationship unhealthy. Dating someone older than you can cause two roles to be played in the relationship by your lover. One is your boyfriend/girlfriend and the other role is the father/mother role.
Older men or older women, go through more experiences and sometimes have less patience in dealing with things.
So, just like our own parents. They could also be like, “I’ve got this much younger person who I can mold them to who I like and direct them what to do”.
The problem is that you could be having so much fun in the early stages of the relationship. That you might not notice the warning signs that the person could be controlling or toxic.
3) Your Sex Drives Can Be a Problem
Sex isn’t everything. But it’s very important in a relationship and marriage. Physical touch and intimacy can make a 30-year marriage feel amazing.
I have had many friends tell me about how their sex drive differs from their girlfriends. And honestly, sex is something that can be talked about. So that both you and your spouse can meet each other in the middle.
It is just important to keep in mind your needs. And how hard will it be to get along with someone that might have a much lower sex drive than you.
4) Can You Withstand Other People’s Opinions Of You?
When you’re dating or planning to marry someone older than you, the public’s opinion of your relationship might be a big obstacle. Because you are not the same age, your friends and family may make fun of you, make jokes, and perhaps believe that your relationship isn’t serious or real.
However, if you truly love them, you should have a positive and mature attitude; if others have something to say, let them; all that matters is that you and your sweetheart or spouse create a strong bond.
So if you really let people’s judgments, opinions hurt you, then marrying or dating someone older than you can pose challenges and make life hard for you.
In order to date someone older than you, you should make your mentality stronger and impenetrable.
How Much Of an Age Gap Is OK?
When you really find love in someone and you find yourself lost in their arms and words, then age should not matter.
I truly believe if you think that if someone is your soulmate, you should fight to be with them.
But, it’s only fair and reasonable for me to provide some facts and statistics to you on marriages with a major age difference.
If you really want to know if age gaps really matter in relationships. You have to really ask yourself what type of relationship you want to be in.
This is because in some cultures, like Iran, Turkey, Saudi Arabia, and China people are looking for a relationship where the power dynamic isn’t exactly balanced.
In these cultures, the man is the head of the house and the wife must obey the man. If this is the type of relationship you are looking for, then this study I’m about to share with you isn’t going to be useful for you.
This study is from a western society such as USA and Canada. The study was aimed at couples who are generally looking for a roughly equal power balance in their marriage and relationship.
- “A one-year discrepancy in a couple’s ages, makes them 3 percent more likely to divorce (when compared to their same-aged counterparts)”
- A 5-year difference, however, makes them 18 percent more likely to split up.
- And a 10-year difference makes them 39 percent more likely to split up.
- Once you enter large-gap territory—the 20-year difference you are 95 percent more likely to split up.
Statistics do not determine your fate.
The study’s findings, however, make sense as sources of predictors. Marriage is, first and foremost, a 50-50 partnership; when age disparities occur there will also be differences in life experiences and preferences. Over time, these two disparities can cause issues.
Watch out for men or women that want to have a baby before marriage! Check Out This Article, To Find Out Why.
What are The Advantages Of Marrying an Older Woman?
1) Confidence:
When you are dating older women, she’ll know what she wants. There won’t be any second opinions on where to eat or what to do; she’s got her own opinions and knows who she is and what she wants.
2) Emotional maturity:
She won’t get rattled by the little things. And so therefore there is less drama in the relationship.
She won’t unnecessarily get jealous because you posted something on social media. She’s going to be more mature in how she communicates and how she attacks challenges, difficulties, and problems.
Older women are more experienced at navigating conversations and challenges. And it just creates an environment where there is less drama and problems.
3) She’s Independent
As an older woman, she’s got her life, activities, and what she wants to do. She doesn’t have to pressure you to make her life great. She knows how to have her own time and fun.
4) An Amazing Sex Partner and Teacher In Bed.
Younger women, tend to be more insecure and not share what they really want in the bedroom for her satisfaction and yours.
Older women, being more experienced not only bring a more complete package of skills and knowledge on having sex, but they also make sure to speak their mind on what to do in bed, so both of you end up being completely satisfied.
Conclusion
Although we see many celebrities and people dating and marrying people much older than them these days, it has yet to become the norm in day-to-day society.
It can be a fun fetish to think of being a lover to an older woman or man. I mean adult films and many books depict and show this bond.
But besides the fetishes and short-lived relationships that most of us imagine from time to time. In this article, however, we discussed a subject more serious and beautiful; We are talking about marrying someone older.
When it comes to marrying someone older, it seems wonderful at first because you love them and you want to spend the rest of your life with them. But, you are left questioning yourself because of society’s beliefs on what is right or wrong.
It can be frightening to imagine how other people would react when you get married to someone older than you. The eyes that gaze upon you and the words they speak behind your back.
If you truely love him or her then you should fight for that love and life with them. Becuase all life is, is a dear, a dear and courage to leap above and beyond the nay sayers and to only fulfill your heart and the true happiness you deserve.
Hey guys! my name is Farid Babajan and I’m the co-founder of relationshipwhatsup.com. Around 5 years ago I came out of a relationship which I wasn’t too happy about. Afterward, I decided to start kicking ass in life and in relationships. Getting to understand people around me better as well as myself. This has allowed me to share with you all my knowledge on Love, Romance as well as complications and problems in relationships.